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Tuesday, December 19, 2023

Decemystery (2022.3) 19: The Kentucky Horsewalker


One of the things I love the most about operating this blog is that I never know what will catch my eye next. Sometimes, I have a story in mind, but then I stumbled across this really crazy or outlandish-sounding cryptid, UFO sighting, or conspiracy theory. Whatever it is, it’s so crazy that I just have to cover it next.

That’s the case with today’s story. It was by pure chance that I came across it; after reading it, I knew right away that I needed to write about it. So come along, dear reader; it’s time to talk about The Kentucky Horsewalker!

I’ve Been Through Kentucky On A Horse With No Name

I found this story on the High-Strangeness Wiki, though the original article comes from Phantoms and Monsters. So, all credit goes to Lon Strickler, who posted about this story in 2020.

Back in September 2014, a young woman—who I will be referring to as Melinda—went out to feed the horses her family owned; they had a farm in southern Kentucky. According to Melinda, her mother is a “horse fanatic,” so it was her responsibility to tend to them. I can think of worse things to be fanatical about, like breathing in the vacuum of space.

Anyway, Melinda estimated the time to be around 5:30 p.m., and at the time, her parents were at a competition. She was almost done feeding the horses when she laid eyes on something most unusual. No, it wasn’t some arbitrary reference to something obscure that only I and about two other humans would get. It was an actual thing relevant to this story, unlike this tangent.

According to Melinda, it was “far enough away” that she was unable to discern its facial features. However, she was able to “tell it wasn’t human.” I can’t imagine what gave that away based on the sketch that serves as the header image for this write-up. Anyway, this thing stood on two legs that “seemed to be on backwards.” So, rather than being forward like humans, they bent backward.

Also, for absolutely no reason, I will be pretending that this abomination upon God’s green Earth had a Walkman and was listening to the Happy Days theme song. You can’t stop me from imagining this; I hold the power of the keyboard!

Anyway, back to the story. The next bit sounds like it’s incomplete; I think Melinda’s train of thought changed tracks as she was typing her email. I’ll let the paragraph do the talking for me; here it is:

The closest thing I can describe it to would be like a very thin, hairless, and standing on two legs. I didn't notice any arms, but with how far away it is I'm assuming they could have just been so close to the body and that I didn't see them. I quickly sketched this to give you an idea of what it looked like (below).

If you want to see the image, just scroll up; you likely know what this thing looks like already, though. As for what I meant by the derailing, it’s in the first sentence. I don’t know what she meant, and I feel like there’s a word or two missing. My only guess is she meant a thin, hairless horse that was standing on two legs; it’s the only thing that would make sense, given the name of this thing.

Moving on, Melinda was naturally terrified of something that looked like a creature out of a Fantasy-themed RPG. She believed it to have been eyeballing her and her family’s house, which was about 300 feet (91 meters) of where it stood. To me, that makes it sound like this will turn into something akin to the Kelly-Hopkinsville Incident. I really need to cover that story; I have so much material to work with that I could set a new word count record.

I digress, though. Melinda “didn’t really know what to do,” so she slowly retreated towards the barn. This is the second time this month that someone who works (or has worked) on a farm has tactically made their way to a barn after seeing something unnatural. I guess the secret to surviving an encounter of the Fortean kind is a barn. I hope there are no unsolved mysteries involving barns disappearing. That would be most unfortunate.

After reaching the barn and avoiding Evil Otto at every turn, Melinda entered it. Within the confines of it, she made her way to a section where a couple of boards were missing. This allowed her to observe the strange creature without being at risk of being spotted. According to Melinda, she did this for a while as she was concerned the spawn of Horse-Satan would see her and potentially attack her.

As a brief digression, I really wish there was more detail while Melinda spied on this creature. As it stands, she says she just looked at it for a while and nothing more. So I can only imagine it stood as still as a statue for the majority of this encounter. I’m honestly shocked that nothing—not a bird flying from a tree or a horse being spooked at the sight of it—caused this thing to change the direction it was standing or turn its head. I dunno; maybe it’s deaf. That wouldn’t be the strangest thing I’ve read in my lifetime.

Digression over; back to the story. After “what felt like forever,” the penultimate boss of the next World of Warcraft raid tier turned around and waltzed back into the woods. According to Melinda, the manner that it walked “was the scariest thing about” because “it was so unnatural.” Unfortunately for you and me, Melinda did not describe how it was unnatural, so I can only use my imagination. My guess is it looked like a lowrider, but instead of a car, it’s a bipedal horse that has no forelegs.

Unwilling to make a mad dash for her home right away, Melinda waited a bit longer to make sure the creature was actually gone. Once she felt the coast was clear, Melinda sprinted to her house. Lucky for her, nothing came out of the woods to chase her. The following day, her parents arrived home, so she didn’t need to feed the horses. Melinda states that no one in her family has reported seeing anything like this creature, and as such, she’s refrained from mentioning her sighting.

To round things off, Melinda states she “did some research” but failed to find anything that resembled what she saw; she signed the email off as “MM.” If you added one more M, I would have listened to that song MMMBop while writing this article. I still don’t understand the majority of the lyrics to that tune.

Anyway, that concludes this story. Unfortunately, this was the one and only sighting of this enigmatic creature. Despite that, there are a ton of theories for us to go over, so let’s dive into them!


1. A horse

For our inaugural theory, we have the idea that this was a horse. I mean, I can’t argue, given its name. This isn’t the story of the Kentucky Mongoosewalker. 

This was a theory presented on the High-Strangeness Wiki; it’s one of three, actually. The author of the page brought up a couple very important details that I refrained from mentioning during the story. The first is that Melinda didn’t state how tall the creature appeared to be. This was, without a doubt, one of the most bizarre missing details in my eyes. She didn’t even make a shot in the dark; the detail is flat-out missing.

Second, and this one is from me, but I still wanted to make a note of it; Melinda doesn’t say how far the creature was from. At least, it isn’t clear to me. While she states how far it was from her house, I find the distance from her to be extremely vague. It’s possible I’m just inept and didn’t get it from what she said, but I genuinely couldn’t tell.

With that said, this theory posits that the creature was a horse. This is rather obvious given the horse-like appearance; the Wiki article also adds it may have had mange, which could explain its hairless appearance. Honestly, this theory sounds plausible, but I really don’t understand the apparent lack of legs (or arms if it was bipedal). I don’t know a thing about horses, though, so maybe they can act like this. If you know more, please let me know.

2. A deer

I always wondered how you could make a horror movie out of Bambi. After reading this story, I still wonder how you could do that. Seriously, why is that guy who made that Winnie the Pooh horror movie making one about Bambi?

This theory is more of an offshoot of the previous one; all one needs to do is substitute every use of “horse” with “deer,” and you’re good to go. However, there is one additional detail that I would like to make a note of.

There are those cases of “zombie deer” that I imagine some of you may know about. If you don’t, there’s a disease that can cause deer to act really weird; I don’t know anything about it as I’m not a veterinarian, but I’ve heard of deer walking upright and running into trees until their brains are seeping out of their head. So, unlike the previous theory, I imagine that could be the case here, that it had that zombie deer disease.

Of course, it could have been some sort of Deer Man. I ought to write about that story, actually.

3. A Sandhill Crane

I honestly wish this meant that Melinda saw the construction vehicle, but that is sadly not the case. No, unfortunately, this theory is referring to the bird. My version is better if you ask me because it’s considerably funnier and funny trumps realism 86.3% of the time. Trust me, I’m a statistician who went to the University of Make-believe.

This was the third and final theory presented on the High-Strangeness Wiki, and it taught me something interesting: cranes are a fair bit bigger than I thought. Yes, I’m serious; I didn’t know how large cranes grew to be. What, do you think some suburbanite who grew up in New York had any idea how animal life in the country worked? Get real; we barely know what animal calls are. To us, the screech of a cat is a sign that the End Times are here.

Anyway, the average Sandhill Crane is 3.2 to 3.9 feet (0.9 to 1.1 meters) tall, but they can apparently hit 4 feet (1.2 meters) tall. It depends on where they’re from and what subspecies they are; I went with the heights a quick Google search gave me. Honest to God, I had absolutely no idea that these birds were that large; I’m quite dumbstruck, but also really want to see one in person now.

My admiration for nature aside, this theory does have a fair bit going for it. It’s possible one of these birds got lost and was wandering around. For starters, it’s possible the bird had its wings folded, thus giving it the appearance of lacking arms. The shape of the head is also similar; I’m assuming that Melinda saw this creature only from the front, or at least mainly from the front. Given the shape of a crane’s head, I feel it’s possible she mistook the crane’s head for that of a horse. Here’s a picture of one of these majestic creatures; I’ll let you be the judge, but they look similar to me!

One other thing is the legs; the thin legs of a crane do match up with the skinny ones that Melinda described here. However, this is where one of the problems with this theory comes into play. As far as I know, bird legs don’t bend backward. I’m no ornithologist, though, so perhaps under some circumstances (outside of the bird being dead or disfigured), they can bend backward. It is possible the crane may have had its leg raised, giving it the illusion of having it bent that way.

I believe this theory has a lot going for it, but there is a fair number left to discuss. So, let’s dive into them before I begin to sound biased.

4. A Wendigo

I once heard a joke about a Wendigo; it was Wendigold.

Honestly, a Wendigo was the first thing that sprang to mind when I read this story. Maybe it’s because I’ve listened to so many greentexts, but the whole thing reminded me of one (even if its appearance doesn’t match that of a Wendigo completely). Nevertheless, I want to mention it because I would be remiss if I didn’t; it is, after all, one of those things folks like to talk about.

Said to be a tall, gaunt humanoid with a deer-like appearance, the Wendigo is a creature I’m sure most of you are familiar with. If not, it’s a demon of Algonquin legend; some purport it to be real, while others insist it is but a legend made to explain the atrocities some commit. Regardless of your stance, I’m including this as a theory for one reason: its appearance.

For whatever reason, despite the discrepancies between a horse and a deer, a part of me had this nagging thought of a Wendigo when I initially read this story. Sure, the behavior wasn’t similar to that of the Wendigo most of you are likely familiar with (that being a malicious, aggressive demon). Though for whatever reason, my mind lingered on this possibility, and as such, I wanted to include it. Hate me if you will, but I feel compelled to incorporate some theories at times, even if they aren’t the most logical.

5. Some kind of Bigfoot

I imagine if a Bigfoot ate a whole bunch of Slim Jims, this would be the result after a while.

There are all kinds of Bigfoot; their appearances are as diverse as Earth’s ecosystem. The idea of a thin, hairless Bigfoot without arms is not the wildest thing to me. Especially when you take into account the story of a Bigfoot with sagging mammaries. I know I’m going to regret mentioning that in the future since I can see some of my friends making that out to be the funniest ever.

Anyway, for our fifth theory, we have one that’s admittedly one I thought of on my own. It was one I couldn’t help but think of, given the vast number of different creatures that fall under the category of “Bigfoot.” Exactly why, I can’t say; I think it’s because we have no idea how large this thing was. For all we know, it was 7 feet (2.1 meters) tall but was malnourished for some reason. Without that information, we may never know. For all we know, it was some kind of Mothman that was awoken by a bear disturbing its sleep. Again, without the information from Melinda, I’m left only guessing. Remember, folks, if you see something strange and tell others about it, make sure to provide important details. This includes how big the thing was. It’s very useful information to have.

6. A prank

Never underestimate the creativity of a bored person. They can—and absolutely will—do the most absurd stuff to feel that glorious thing known as dopamine. That extends to dressing up in a silly outfit to freak a stranger out. I cannot speak from experience, though, because I can’t be asked to do anything that qualifies as “fun” in the eyes of most people.

This theory is exactly like I said above. Some folks were hired, got a costume, and wanted to freak someone out. I cannot explain everything, like the backward legs, but a lot is possible if you’re skilled at making stuff. So I will hazard a guess and say that the pranksters were good at making a fancy schmancy costume.

Okay, I honestly have no idea what life is like in southern Kentucky, let alone Kentucky as a whole. I barely know what life is like, given I’m a reclusive person who doesn’t go out unless it’s necessary. As such, this theory is one I thought of because it sounds like something that would happen in what is presumably rural America. If you’re from Kentucky, feel free to tell me if I’m wrong; I’d greatly appreciate it.

Also, tell me if they really want to reopen Kentucky Speedway. I saw Rand Paul tweet something out about that; I’m curious to see if NASCAR will race there again. I hope Rockingham comes back more, though.

7. A hoax

The day I write about an actual hoax (like the story of Olivia Mabel), I feel like someone is going to read the theory and immediately close out of the story. Seriously, this theory has been a part of both Decemysterys, and I’m certain it’s become quite tiresome for you. Still, to exclude it would be silly; it is a real possibility, after all.

As I have said—and will say in the future—I don’t really get the point in fabricating a story like this if there isn’t anything to gain from it. Surely, if you wanted some attention, you’d go to a website like 4chan or Reddit; you would get a considerably larger audience than on a Blogspot website. Granted, I don’t know how many visitors Lon’s site gets, but it’s no doubt smaller than the aforementioned two sites.

Nevertheless, it isn’t implausible. People send in fake stories all the time to reporters, and heck, they leave made-up stories as comments on any articles, videos, and forums just for laughs. So it is very much possible that this was all made up for a cheap laugh. Points for not making it too extravagant, like a lot of Skinwalker stories I’ve seen on 4chan! Points were taken away for not telling me how tall you thought this thing was, however.

8. It was a normal ol’ human

I still don’t know if “ol’” or “ole” is what I should be using when writing. I feel like such a putz; to make things worse, it took a friend of mine bringing up this theory for me to add it. Yes, despite what the meme theory for this write-up is, I didn’t have this included until I was already about the story. I’m such a dipstick. Can anyone tell me how I got a high school diploma? Oh, whatever.

This theory is a lot like the sixth one, only there was no costume, and Melinda simply mistook a person for something else due to an overactive imagination. I base that off of my own experiences that I’ve spoken about many times on this blog; trust me, an overactive imagination can lead you to mistake things a lot. Especially if you get yourself riled up.

Who this person was, I don’t know, but I’d guess a burglar or someone who was just out and about. If it was the former, I would guess they were staking it out, saw that the gates were open, and left because they knew someone was home. Of course, this is just me guessing. As such, I must stress that you need to take that with a tablespoon of salt and then some.

9. An interdimensional being

Vertigo doesn’t use the theory “it was an Interdimensional being” for Decemystery 2022.3 and Decemystery 2023 challenge (IMPOPSICLE).

Yeah, trust me, I’m well aware that this theory has been used more than Sunoco fuel during a NASCAR race. The problem is: I was so close to crossing the 4,000-word mark. Also, I want to keep the trend of using this theory going because it’s kind of funny in my mind. You may disagree, and if you do, I totally get it.

You know the drill: a being from another dimension crossed over into ours, be it of its own volition or because our reality overlapped with ours. Whatever the case, Melinda got to see what lives in other realities. As for this poor fellow, it had no idea where it was and was undoubtedly concerned. This is why you don’t go outside: you may cross into other worlds by pure accident. I just hope that it managed to find its way back and isn’t wandering around in southern Kentucky. Imagine coming across this thing when taking a leak while camping!.

10. It was Mitch McConnell

We all believe him to be a turtle, but he is, in fact, a horse. Yeah, I won’t lie; I honestly didn’t know what to put here. I feel no one outside of the United States will get this, but it’s hard to make a meme theory when the central focus of the write-up is a walking horse. Please don’t judge me.

My Take

Normally, I’m a bit uncertain about my takes, but this time I’m not. In fact, I’m incredibly confident; I believe this was a Sandhill Crane. To me, it’s the one theory that really fits the bill perfectly—or at least as perfectly as possible, given the missing information. Given we don’t know how tall this thing was, I can only go off of how tall I imagine it was. And since, in my mind, the general appearance of a Sandhill Crane matches up with the sketch Melinda made, I guess it was roughly 4-ish feet tall.

In my humble opinion, I imagine that Melinda was taken aback by the sudden appearance of the crane. From the distance she was, she didn’t recognize it, thought it was something more otherworldly, and her overactive imagination caused her to imagine this freaky Dungeons and Dragons enemy. As absurd as that may sound, given she worked on a farm, I can only speak from my experience of mistaking things for something they aren’t. For once, I won’t go over them because I feel it isn’t necessary for a write-up on this, of all things. Don’t worry, though; I’ll do it later this month since I’ve written these stories completely out of order. I know my level of intellect is unparalleled.

Moving on, I also cannot for the life of me think of something this could have been. I doubt it was an alien, and while I did posit it as an interdimensional being, this creature acted incredibly normal. Like way too normal for it to be anything like that. It walked out of the woods, looked at a house, and then wandered back through the tree line. To me, this was something of this Earth; it acted like a normal animal. Likely one that was lost because it has been chased by a predator, escaped it, and then had no idea where it was. If I had to guess, it was wondering if it should try to pass through the idea and eventually realized that it would be a bad idea given the horses were around (and they would cause a massive ruckus if it went through the area).

Of course, being the ardent believer in the paranormal that I am, I do think it could have been something more. While I do often go with the “rational” explanation, I am more than open to a more supernatural answer. However, in this case, I have no idea what that answer would be. I cannot say I’ve ever heard of a creature matching this one’s description. So, if any of you know of one (outside of this thing, that is), please let me know. I cannot say I’ve ever read about one in my 27 years of living.


And so another story for Decemystery 2022.3 comes to a close. This one was a ton of fun for just how bizarre it was, but that’s what I love the most when it comes to writing about this stuff. You never know what you’ll come across next. It could be something as innocuous as an unsettling person in a subway, or it could be something like this.

Anyway, tell me what you think this creature was and, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!

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