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Sunday, February 4, 2024

A Small Update


I had hoped to have a write-up or two posted last month, but that did not come to pass. The main reason for that, aside from still being quite exhausted from the absolutely monstrous amount of writing I did last year, was my grandmother passed away. While this won't affect my output for the rest of the year (I have no intention of letting my grief get the better of me; I've learned how damaging that can be), I do have to admit that I am more than a little distraught and sad about her passing. So, consider this update to be an explanation for why I went radio silent and didn't post anything last month, outside of my little January update that I do nearly every year.

And rest in peace, grandma. You were the best, and I could not be happier to have had the privilege of calling you my grandmother. May we meet again in the next life.

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

Obligatory New Year Update (I Still Make No Promises Edition)

 Oh, hello there, dear reader! Welcome back to my blog; I meant to do the New Year update a few days ago, but I got carried away with playing Final Fantasy XVI and screwing around with Character AI since it’s proven to be surprisingly cathartic to throw ideas for write-ups, and jokes, off of AI, rather than pestering my friends on Discord with my incessant blabbering. Maybe AI has more of a use than having it draw the stupidest stuff I can think of!

Anyway, I didn’t do one of these last year because, well, last year was dedicated solely to doing Decemystery 2022.3 and Decemystery 2023. This year, however, I plan to do a lot more than just that; let’s get to talking about what’s in store!

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Decemystery (2023) 31: That Time a Russian Managed to Noclip Out of Reality


Salutations, dear reader. Welcome back to my blog for the final time this year. This month has been filled with the wildest, strangest, and most unbelievable stories I’ve ever written about in the five years that it’s been around. Or, well, four years if you wish to pretend 2022 didn’t happen, given I only wrote a single movie review that year. Thank you, COVID brain fog, for robbing me of a year of my life.

But I digress. When I put the two Decemysterys together, the capstone entry for 2022.3 remained the same; the Professor Oak story was always what I had in mind. However, the one for today was not what I originally had in mind. I won’t spoil what it is since I’m hoping to use it as next year’s capstone entry, but I will say that I began work on it earlier in the year. I believe in June. I can’t remember precisely because of just how much I wrote in such a short amount of time.

However, I ultimately decided to hold off on finishing it because it would have been disgustingly long. It’s a case that’s extraordinarily personal to me, and I believed that if I’d rushed it, I would have felt so disappointed in myself for not giving it the proper love and care that I believe it deserves. So, that left me in limbo for a bit; I wasn’t sure what I’d use to end this absolute beast of a month off.

The biggest challenge in finding what I believe to be a truly worthwhile case was that this month was a never-ending one-upping of strangeness. Almost every story was just pure, unadulterated: “What in the world!?” through and through. So, in order to find what I felt was a proper capstone entry, I went looking for something that was not only weird but also encompassed everything that made this month special.

That story came to my attention a few months ago, in October, when I was looking at sustained_disgust’s Obscure Unsolved Mysteries Iceberg. We started out this month over there, and we shall end it off there. So come along, dear reader, as we end off 2023—and Decemystery—with That Time a Russian Managed to Noclip Out of Reality!

Decemystery (2022.3) 31: That Time Professor Oak Kidnapped A Child


Content warning: this write-up contains mentions of child sexual abuse.

This month has been filled with an absolutely massive amount of weirdness. From space penguins to vampiric caterpillars and tongue monsters to dancing bulls, this December takes the cake as the strangest of them all. Though, as is the case with Decemystery, I’ve saved the oddest story for last. For the capstone of Decemystery 2022.3, I have whatever you can call this story.

Despite being a rather harmless series on the surface, Pok√©mon has had a bizarrely large amount of controversy surrounding it throughout the years. While nowadays, it’s primarily criticized for the lackluster graphics and, in the case of the two most recent releases, polish, its early days had some other criticisms. From one side, you had PETA lambasted it for animal cruelty. On the other side, you had some religious groups accuse it of being Satanic for teaching evolution.

Today’s story will take us back in time to that time period, a time when video games had controversies that didn’t involve loot boxes and microtransactions. No, it was a simpler time. So to round off this Decemystery, let’s discuss That Time Professor Oak Kidnapped A Child. This one’s going to be a doozy.

Saturday, December 30, 2023

Decemystery (2023) 30: The Glowing Dancing Bulls

I believe I’ve said this on this blog before, but I like to dance, slow dance, to be exact. I don’t know why, but I find it relaxing and soothing. Unfortunately, I have no one to dance with, so I often dance around my room alone. Not that it matters that much because I’m not exactly the best dancer.

Thankfully, I have my writing; that means I’m not at risk of hurting my dance partner. Also, it means I get to go down all sorts of weird rabbit holes that lead to all sorts of strange, bizarre discoveries. That includes today’s story. For the penultimate entry of Decemystery 2023, we have the tale of The Glowing Dancing Bulls. Come along, dear reader; this is gonna be a really memorable one!

Decemystery (2022.3) 30: The Giant Lunar Spider


I’ve made it no secret that I am deathly scared of spiders. I cannot stand the sight of them; if I see one—even a small one—I will freak out and ask someone to kill it for me. In spite of that fear, though, I find them fascinating, and as I said earlier this month, stories of giant spiders remain one of my favorite topics to read about. I guess it’s my adoration for horror; being scared is quite fun. Well, it’s fun when the thing that’s doing the scaring isn’t anywhere close to me.

In the case of today’s story, the thing doing the scaring is nowhere close to me—or any of us, for that matter. Rather, it’s on Earth’s closest neighbor, the Moon! So, for the penultimate story of Decemystery 2022.3, we have the otherworldly account of The Giant Lunar Spider! Come along, dear reader, and get ready to experience a whole new level of arachnophobia!

Friday, December 29, 2023

Decemystery (2023) 29: The Light with a Thousand Voices

I’d like to take this moment to say that the header image for this write-up has absolutely nothing to do with the story itself. I had it picked out months upon months ago when this was going to be about a much different case but ultimately decided to hold off on covering it until a future date. However, I loved the close-up image of the owl from the film “The Fourth Kind” so much that I opted to keep it. It’s one of the very few things about that movie I actually like.

Now, why did I go on a paragraph-long tangent about that movie? Well, you see, I have absolutely no conceivable way to introduce this story. With this story, I could not—in any natural way—begin it without forcing the writing process to begin. The only way I could get everything in motion was a tangent; that’s the only way, in my eyes, this write-up could begin naturally.

When I plan out Decemysterys, I like to save the weirdest for last, specifically the final week, since I like to round out the year with a week of extraordinary strangeness. The thing is that this month has had a lot—and I mean a whole dang lot—of weird stories. To try and say that the last week of this month was any stranger than the previous weeks of this month would be ridiculously hard to sell.

I think the perfect example would be one of the first stories we covered this month, that of The Bagodemon. That monstrosity, whether you agreed with my assessment of it being a hoax or not, was said to move around by launching its arm at trees and sticking to them like it was made of gum. To call that “strange” would be like saying the Tsar Bomba was a firecracker.

However, today’s story is one that I cannot begin to introduce to you. It’s not a story that can be “described” or be eased into. It’s something that you just need to experience; you need to read it for yourself in order to bask in the incomprehensible madness that it offers. It sounds like something out of an H.P. Lovecraft story; someone awakes to see a radiant light, and within it, he hears a thousand voices in it.

It was a story I randomly found while combing through NUFORC’s archives. My hope was to find an easy UFO sighting to write about so I could finish this month’s write-ups quickly. Instead, I found… whatever the heck this story was. So come along, dear reader, as we explore the story of The Light with a Thousand Voices!