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Hi! Welcome to Vertigo's Fun House. Here, you'll find write-ups on unsolved mysteries and serial killers. Thanks for stopping by! It means a lot.

Saturday, December 7, 2019

Decemystery (2019) 7: The Goatman

Say Cheese and Bleat

Amazingly, I had a fair bit of difficulty picking out a mystery to cover today. The original one I wanted to cover ended up being a bit too conclusive for my tastes and I wanted to have something that was a bit more… indecisive. As such, I’ve gone with the Goatman. On its surface, the Goatman is something that most would agree is nothing more than a fable that’s stood the test of time—and with very good reason. The idea of a half man, half goat creature is laughable at best and just flat out ridiculous at worst. So why cover it?

Well, the Goatman is one of those entities that has its roots planted in the same ground as the Wendigo and the Skinwalker. If you’ve ever listened to any sort of scary story YouTube channel, odds are you’ve heard of those two. The Goatman has, at times, fallen into the same category where it’s seemingly interchangeable with them. A shapeshifting beast of legend that hungers for human flesh and lurks within the woods, waiting for unsuspecting prey.

So is this creature real? Let’s find out the truth.

Friday, December 6, 2019

Decemystery (2019) 6: The Bermuda Beast

Ia, Ia, Shub-Niggurath! Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!

The Bermuda Triangle with a reputation that exceeds its name. Known to some as the Devil's Triangle, this hypothetical location has been blamed for numerous missing aircrafts, ships, and peculiarities—ranging from mysterious lights in the sky to bizarre compass readings. These date back to when Christopher Columbus was waiting through the triangle in October of 1492. Columbus claimed that his crew saw strange lights in the sky that darted around, while the man himself said he had unusual compass readings.

Theories surrounding the Triangle are as plentiful as its body count. These include aliens abducting the aircrafts and ships, Atlantian technology causing aircrafts and ships to crash, wormholes, the Triangle being a portal to another dimension or universe, otherworldly beings destroying or stealing them, and blackholes.

Officially, the explanation to the Bermuda Triangle's bizarre behavior is that it's in a spot that causes unusual magnetic field behavior. I'm likely butchering that explanation, but I'm extremely bad when it comes to how Earth's magnetic field operates. Regardless, this theory has been scoffed at by those who believe there is more to the Triangle than we like to believe.

While I have full the full intention of one day covering the entirety of the Bermuda Triangle in a documentary style write-up, where I'll cover the mammoth legend front and back, inside and out, I want to focus on one theory today. It's called the Bermuda Beast and it's something that reads more like something straight out of the 2019 film “Godzilla: King of the Monsters”.

Described as being four times the size of the Eiffel Tower—which would make it a staggering fifty one times the size of a Blue Whale at over 4,000 feet long—the Bermuda Beast is said to be capable of leaping out of the water to snap entire planes from the sky and devouring them and everyone inside in a single, this colossal monstrosity would be the largest creature to have ever inhabited Earth by a country mile. It would be four times the size of the largest tsunami ever recorded. Ride the wave, dude.

However, is there any evidence to support such a leviathan? Let's find out.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Decemystery (2019) 5: Giant Jellyfish

Don't touch the tentacles.

Jellyfish are some of the most peculiar creatures on the planet. With no brain to speak of (save for Box Jellyfish, which do have a brain), they float around to the ocean’s current. The largest one on the planet, stretching at a whopping 120 feet long, is the Lion’s Mane Jellyfish. However, what if there was a larger one? Well, as luck would have it, sightings of such creatures exist. So today, let’s take a gander at the reports of
Giant Jellyfish.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Decemystery (2019) 4: Krampus


I was given the choice between this legend and The Rake. I can't fathom why I'd not pick the latter given the basis for the Rake is one that could be considered realistic. It is, after all, something that's a lot more true to life than Santa Claus.

Or is it?

The worldwide toy delivering fat man who we as children send letters to in the hopes of getting the shiniest new truck, doll, and remaster/port if The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is one that we grow out of. There's no denying that. However, Santa has an opposite who dies more than give naughty kids coal.

Named Krampus, this ghoulish being is the kindness of monster one would expect to see accompanying a death metal band when on tour. Luckily, he doesn't exist. Entry over, right?

Not quite. YouTube has to make life difficult for me. See, if you go ahead and search for “Krampus real life”, you're greeted by some who claim to have really seen or encountered Santa's opposite. I guess the saying is true: a sucker is born every minute.

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Decemystery (2019) 3: 1988 Ulster County John Doe

The man in question.

This story is one that I only recently discovered. On the surface, there’s nothing too special about it. After all, there are thousands of John and Jane Doe’s waiting to be identified. What makes this story special—in my eyes at least—is the photo that was found in this particular individuals possession. A seemingly happy man holding a young child. Ever since I saw the photo, I’ve been wondering to myself: who is the
1988 Ulster County John Doe?

Monday, December 2, 2019

Decemystery (2019) 2: The Awful

Due to a lack of sketches, I'm forced to use a generic image of a gryphon.

I was a bit torn on whether I should really dedicate an entry to this alleged beast or not. At first glance, it may seem like something that could be seen as something like a Thunderbird. Apply any sort of analytical eye however and all signs will immediately point towards a fabrication or—if you want to be optimistic—an urban legend. However, I want to cover it both as a jab at a friend of mine (hi, Jim!) and because it’s something quicker to write. I did have plans to cover other gryphon-based cryptids, but those are also really short and manage to be even less compelling than the creature that’s known as The Awful. That said, let’s begin.

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Decemystery (2019) 1: Golf Rumors

Welcome to Decemystery 2019!

I had scrapped the idea for Decemystery 2019 a few weeks ago. I had intended to just offset the workload to March/May so I could get together something extremely special and exciting. Yet, I didn't want to nix what I hope to be a yearly thing. Something that makes the end of the year special and fun 

So I wondered what I could do. It admittedly didn't take long to settle on covering mostly extremely weird, quirky, silly mysteries and a few conspiracies. To top it all off, a few truly horrible, maddeningly evil tales. So while this go around may not have the same vibe as last year—instead featuring primarily outlandish, goofy tales—there is still going to be plenty of fun to be had. This is, of course, merely in my eyes. For all I know, you won't agree.

Anyways, let's get to the first story. This one is the sister entry to the write-up I did in the 2006 Volleyball Incident and is the primary reason I resurrected this year's Decemystery. It's a story that's as vague as it is fascinating. Let me introduce you it to via a description from a now archived 4chan thread.

They also hunt down anyone [people who look into Golf Rumors] religiously.

Such a warning like this is something that would no doubt put off anyone who expresses interest. The story of what’s come to be known as Golf Rumors is one that descends into that oh-so lovely rabbit hole of Satanic rituals and all sorts of other occult-based claims. It’s the type of stuff that makes up any New World Order/Illuminati conspiracy you can find on the internet.

What makes this one more fantastical is how it allegedly has been scrubbed from the surface web. It is, for all intents and purposes, a story that's worthy of being seen by the eyes of those who dare to go to the deepest parts of the deep web.

Or so they say. We won't know unless we go on a journey to discover the truth. So let's begin.