Decemystery (2024) 19: An Encounter with the Easter Bunny

 

If there’s one holiday I have virtually no memories of, it’s Easter. Despite being Roman Catholic, it’s a day where I only recall two things: looking for plastic eggs that had money in them (thanks, Grandpa!) and coloring eggs. I thoroughly enjoyed both, but I preferred the former because money meant I could buy toys from vending machines. I was a simple child who has grown into a not-so-simple man.

As for coloring eggs, I enjoyed that, too. It was fun sitting around dipping them into paint and whatnot. Then again, hanging out with my family was always great. It’s too bad the younger me couldn’t appreciate that as much.

Despite those memories, I have no recollection of ever believing in the Easter Bunny. While I’m sure I did, I never thought about him the same way I did Santa Claus or even the Headless Horseman.

Instead, I viewed him as a sign that I should try to pester my mom into buying me a chocolate bunny. I’d say that I would eat it, but I never did because I’m not much of a chocolate person. I think my sister did, though. I can’t remember.

Funnily enough, I think I was later gifted a novelty-sized chocolate bunny. I took one look at it and felt sick. I have no idea if anyone ever finished it. If they did, I pity their stomach.

Anyway, enough background on my. The point I’m making is that my history with Easter isn’t exactly special or fantastical. It’s relatively mundane and par for the course when it comes to a middle-American guy who grew up in a state that would tax breathing if it could.

However, I attribute that monotony to my immediate interest in today’s Decemystery entry. Sure, the title alone is eye-catching, but I’ve always had a fascination with holiday-themed mysteries. They have a little bit of extra flavor that makes them more appealing.

And in the case of today’s story—which I call An Encounter with the Easter Bunny—it has enough flavor to last a lifetime. The idea of meeting a holiday mascot is something I’ve entertained covering before; I’ve come across reports from people who claim they’ve met Santa. However, I’d rather save those stories for a year when I’m actively writing from the start of it and not the middle of the summer.

Still, this sounds like a whimsical time. So, come along; let’s go Easter Egg hunting. I call dibs on the eggs that have money!

Decemystery (2024) 14: The Brisbane Gremlin

 

Have you ever had one of those days when you didn’t want to do something, but you knew you had to do it because if you didn’t do it, you’d feel like a sloth? That’s me as I type this. As of writing, I got done with the previous Decemystery entry, and a part of me wants to do little more than slack off by playing a Pokémon ROM hack. Maybe Renegade Platinum; I’d like to do a playthrough where none of my Pokémon faint.

Alas, not writing will make me feel irritated at myself for being lazy. As such, I must continue the grind; I need to write more. Some may say that it’s unhealthy to push myself to write when I want to take a break. I concur, but I have a secret weapon to get the best of both worlds. It’s called “making sure the upcoming stories are easy enough to write so I don’t stress myself out.” By doing this, I won’t exhaust myself, and I can also have the time of my life without worrying about overworking myself.

I attribute this tactical move to Douglas MacArthur, who I’m pretty sure once said something along the lines of, “Duty, honor, country, write about simple things to make life easy.” I’m pretty sure he said that before the infamous Battle of Time Constraints.

Anyway, now that you know my mindset for today’s write-up, let’s get down to business. While I may be in the mood to slack off, I’ve had my heart set on today’s story because it was one that I was really eager to cover from the get-go. Then, when I was reading it over, I realized something rather bizarre.

I’d picked out the wrong story.

Indeed, when I was making a Google Document of links for stories I’d cover, I’d mistakenly copied the wrong one (likely due to being half asleep since I often gather stories before I go to bed) and hyperlinked it. However, upon reviewing the story, I found that it was far more than adequate for this month.

As for the other story, I’m sure I’ll find it again one day. Who knows, maybe while writing about this mystery, I’ll have stumbled across it again and worked it into the schedule. It’s not like there have been several stories that I’ve already scrapped due to not feeling like writing about them.

I digress, though. Yesterday, I briefly mentioned sightings of children seeing gremlins. Today, we’ll be talking about one such incident. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head to the Land Down Under and investigate the mystery of The Brisbane Gremlin!

Decemystery (2023) 15: The Tuttle Bottoms Monster

When most people hear the word “cryptid,” they likely think of Sasquatch or Nessie. However, there are a plethora more creatures out there than everyone’s favorite hairy hominid and Scottish plesiosaur. Heck, there are more than El Chupacabra and the Burrunjor.

Cryptids are a group whose reputation ranges from the timid to the downright brutal. For every shy apeman, there are beings like The Beast of the Land Between the Lakes, who’s said to have slaughtered an entire family that was camping.

Indeed, cryptids can have quite a homicidal reputation. While that may seem rather outlandish, you would be surprised at just how many are blamed for the deaths of hikers and swimmers. Ol’ Nessie’s very first sighting involved a swimmer who was attacked by the Loch’s resident cryptid. Meanwhile, Pensacola, Florida, has what is now known as “The 1962 Pensacola Sea Serpent Incident.” Hopefully, we’ll cover that in full next year. For now, if you want to know more about it, I briefly covered it in the second Conspiracy Theory Megalist (it’s entry #335).

There are tons and tons of aggressive cryptids out there—far more than I can name. My favorites are the humorously named Sheepsquatch and today’s topic: The Tuttle Bottoms Monster. This fellow is one that I wanted to cover last year, but life dealt me a Dead Man’s Hand and then some.

Luckily, we’re finally getting around to it. So come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head back to Illinois to hunt one of the most bizarre-looking cryptids I’ve ever come across! You won’t want to miss this one because it has everything: government conspiracies and secrets, experiments gone wrong, urban legends, rumors of a cryptid murdering people, and an apeman with an anteater snout.

Decemystery (2021) 10: The Enfield Horror

 

At the time of this writing, I want to just say that I’ve been reading a lot on TVTropes. Great site if you’ve never visited it; lots and lots of fun. Though I guess that’s not the point of today’s story. No, the point of today’s story is a cryptid—one of the most fascinating and confounding.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that throughout the world, there are reports of weird creatures. A lot can be explained away as misidentifications of known animals; someone sees, say, a bear or wild dog, but because it’s night: they mistake it for Bigfoot or some sort of hellhound (or El Chupacabra). Though every now and then, there’s a creature which is reported that is a bit too… odd; one that’s so bizarre in its appearance, along with the circumstances that surround its initial sighting, that you can’t help but tilt your head in confusion.

That’s where the Enfield Horror comes in. If I were to make a top ten list for “most bizarre looking cryptids”, this would be in the top five. Though there are plenty of folks out there who say that it’s all perfectly explainable and can be rationalized. Is that truly the case? Well, let’s find out; it’s time to head on over to Illinois and talk about a story that’s been on my radar since 2019!

Conspiracy: Hollywood Anon

 

Under any normal circumstances, I would begin this introduction with a very light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek “hi, dear reader” style. Though in the case of this story, I feel hesitant to because the content of it is pretty grim and honestly makes me squirm a bit. Because of that, I feel like I should place another content warning here: if you’re easily upset by stories of children being harmed in any way. Unlike last time however, I opted to censor the homophobic/racial slurs so Google doesn’t remove me from its indexing. Anyways, if children being harmed isn't your idea of an interesting read, you may want to scroll up/down and read anything that isn’t this story. Well, maybe not the Snuff Films write-up I did last year. That would be even worse. Anyways, let’s move onward.

Hollywood: a land of creativity, conspiracy, lust, drugs, liquor, has-beens, and just about every other thing you can imagine that isn’t related to decent morals. It’s a questionable place, but it’s led to some of the greatest artistic achievements this side of the Milky Way (I’m sure that out there, an alien race has created the greatest film about anal probing ever).

Until we find that alien race, we’re stuck with the creative masterpieces like Jaws, The Neverending Story, and other movies that I don’t care to remember at about ten at night. Deal with it, I’m not going to bend to the whim of people who I think read what I write. Anyways, now that I’ve alienated my audience, let’s continue onward.

Given the moral degeneracy that plagues Hollywood, you’re bound to find yourself a plethora of asinine conspiracy theories and propositions by truth seekers who’re hellbent on exposing the pre-conditioned programming of Hollywood. I myself think that tinsel town is guilty of having a serious bias when it comes to its political commentary and while that isn’t inherently bad (writers tend to insert their own views and desires into what they write; if your field of war is dominated by liberals, it’s going to have a liberal bias), it can definitely become overwhelming. It’s because of this that when you see something from Hollywood that’s conservative, it’s quite the standout piece.

So what does this have to do with today’s write-up? Well, we’re going to be focusing on a supposed Hollywood actor—or at least a former big named one—who appeared on 4Chan to reveal some of the shady, disgusting, heinous secrets that plague the land where magic appears on a giant screen. The other day, we talked about the fellow known as FBI Anon. Today, we shall talk about Hollywood Anon. Yet another famous 4Chan poster, this story will take us deep into the belly of the beast; Hollywood degeneracy at its finest. So come along, dear reader, let’s go ahead and take a trip to Tinsel Town. Lights, camera, action!

Conspiracy: FBI Anon

 

A quick warning: there’s some heavy language used in this write-up along with some fairly sensitive topics that are discussed. Though it involves 4Chan, that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. In spite of that, I figured that it would be better if I just address that so nobody gets butthurt if they were to read this and complain that I didn’t censor any of the naughty words and/or had the audacity to cover it. It’s an election year and the influence that a topic like the one discussed in this write-up has can be fairly significant—especially in the era of the Internet.

Before we begin this story, I would like to take a moment to state that the  blog has been reverted to Blogger’s default coloration. I did this primarily due to how the dreary tone didn’t mesh well with the generally upbeat tone of my writing. There was also how the white text was a pain to read if I wanted to revisit my old stuff to see if I thought it would be worth rewriting.

Now, with that said, I do know that some folks prefer the darker background—especially if you’re reading at night. I agree and I will do what I can to make sure that the best of both worlds is met. As such, I promise that if/when I make my own website that it will have a light mode and dark mode option. Until then, I believe that this blog is more about vibrancy and life; a place where the overwhelming morbid nature of mysteries is counteracted by writing that isn’t overly serious. With that said, let’s get to the story.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation—or simply FBI—is a contentious entity in the United States. The center of a great many memes, their work is admirable and has helped to make the world a safer place, but in the past has led to several controversies thanks to less-than savory Directors. Alas, the Bureau has marched on and become a symbol of protection—and evil.

Indeed, there is a fair bit of division in the public eye when it comes to the Bureau. While the majority of Americans trust them, their figureheads have historically been divisive. The current Director, Chris Wray, is well liked by some and seen as spineless by others. His predecessor, James Comey, was seen that way too. Prior to him, Robert Mueller (who served as the Special Council head in the Russian interference fiasco) was also divisive. Heck, almost every FBI Director has been divisive.

The only ones who haven’t been are J. Edgar Hoover, William Sessions, and Louis Freeh. The reason? They were widely reviled by nearly everyone. Hoover is seen as one of the worst leaders of anything in American history, Sessions utilized government funding to lavish himself, and Freeh was a clown masquerading as J. Edgar Hoover.

Now, does any of this inherently mean the Bureau is evil? I wouldn’t say so. Each Special Agent is, at their heart, human. They’re subject to their own flaws and I would guess that they mean well in their intentions. Though of course, those they follow are subject to extreme scrutiny. That’s why with today’s story, the figurehead will play a very, very vital role—in this case, James Comey.

You see, back in the wonderful year of 2016, there was a fellow who’s become known as FBI Anon. He posted a great many things on 4Chan’s controversial /pol/ board that made a lot of users raise their eyebrows in surprise. Though was any of it true? Well, let’s see if we can find out.

Mystery: Jack the Ripper

 

Having grown up with a father who’s a law enforcement officer, my childhood was heavily influenced by shows centered on crime and stories of those who committed acts of evil being caught. This ranged from Scooby-Doo to Forensic Files and America’s Most Wanted, all of which I greatly enjoyed.

As life went on, my fascination in these stories only grew. While I never planned on pursuing a career in law enforcement (not that I could at this point given my physical disabilities), I always loved to read about how these horrible people would slip up and get caught and what their motivations were. It has never ceased to blow my mind as to how little it takes for someone to decide that they’ll take another human’s life. That’s not even touching on unsolved crimes, which are even more fascinating in my eyes. The many questions that surround them really put into perspective the tagline to the 2007 film Zodiac. There’s more than one way to lose your life to a killer.

This brings me to today’s story. Our subject today has brought many detectives and sleuths—amateur and professional—to their knees. So, if you would be so kind as to join me, let’s take a gander at one of the luckiest humans to have ever lived. This is the story of Jack the Ripper.

What Could Have Been: World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor (Rewrite)

Today, we’ll be doing something unique. For a long while, I’ve wanted to rewrite one of my write-ups, though never have I had the adequate time to do so. Recently however, I began to write a megalist of unmade and canceled movies and video games. However, I’ve had to delay it as I recently got a puppy and he has been a handful. There was one entry that I did write that I found to be exceptional though and I didn’t want it to collect dust as I did much smaller projects in my free time. What those smaller projects are: I honestly don’t know. I want to post a mystery or two this month, but it remains to be seen on whether or not I can muster the energy (let alone find the time) to craft something of merit.

Now, before we begin, I want to make note of something. I didn’t change anything in the way of what’s been written and as such, there’s likely a few typos and references to the aforementioned megalist itself. So I do apologize on that front.

So with all of that out of the way, and without further ado: enjoy this rewrite of last year’s What Could Have Been on Warlords of Draenor.

Decemystery (2019) 30: Project Blue Beam

Welcome to the new age.

The fifth and final Conspiracy Iceberg story for the year, I’ve mentioned this particular one quite a few times before. It’s ranked at Tier 2 and is something I’ve wanted to cover for a very long time too—close to three years to be exact. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most maddening things I’ve ever read. It’s time we finally discuss the most confounding conspiracy I’ve ever heard of: Project Blue Beam.