Decemystery (2024) 31: The Boy Who Lost His Memory of October

 

It’s New Year’s Eve. That time of the year when you can plan your New Year’s Resolution, only to abandon it a few days later because, let’s face it, old habits die hard. That’s why my resolution for 2025 is not to plan a single thing for this blog; I’ll just play it by ear.

But that’s for tomorrow. Today is the last day of Decemystery 2024, and I’d say we’ve had quite a unique ride. We’ve talked about tall aliens, a mummy, a talking cat, the Easter Bunny, and headless aliens!

And I can’t say I remember writing any of it.

No, that isn’t hyperbole. Just like last year, the fact I went from story to story without a real break in between means that everything feels like a blur at best. At worst, I straight-up can’t recall writing the article because I did it in a frenzied state where I was exhausted.

That’s what makes today’s case so interesting to me. It was one that I came across by pure chance, but it fits that feeling so well. In a way, it embodies what 2024 has been for me: A year that I cannot remember.

Serving as the capstone entry for Decemystery 2024 is the story of The Boy Who Lost His Memory of October. Where did the rest of the intro go? I lost it, along with my memory of 2024. Now, come along; let’s wrap this up so I can go back to playing Granblue Fantasy Relink.

Decemystery (2024) 27: The Bent Key

 

Well, this is disappointing. Today’s story was intended to be about something that I had teased in the inaugural write-up for this month. It was the story of a mother and son (or daughter; I’m pretty sure I got the details wrong) who shared the same dream. I was quite eager to cover the story until I realized I had 27 pages of material I needed to comb through.

The story I had planned for today originates from the Forteana Forums. I cannot—by any stretch of the imagination—write the entire thing in one go without sacrificing my physical and mental well-being. I may be willing to push myself past my limits, but this would’ve required me to stay up for over 24 hours if I wanted to put a dent in the story. As such, I’ve opted to put it—along with an absolutely bonkers UFO case—on the back burner until next year.

To say that I’m disappointed would be an understatement; I hate that I teased not one but two write-ups and had to yank them at the last second because I didn’t think to cover them sooner. But, hey, it’s not the first time that I’ve had to make schedule changes. I know it won’t be the last, either.

So, how does that tie into today’s write-up? Well, initially, I had no real worthwhile replacement. Given I had to make this change at the very last moment (I’m serious; I was at a Christmas get-together when I made the change), I had no idea what I’d do.

Ultimately, I decided I’d grab a random story from About—my favorite go-to source for random stuff to cover and call it a day—and hope that the apology I gave would be good enough. Yeah, I know that isn’t the best look, but I’m stressed beyond belief, and my brain isn’t exactly “all there.”

However, everything changed when I stumbled across one case: The Bent Key. At first glance, that title is about as uninteresting, lame, and innocuous as can be. In fact, it sounds like it doesn’t belong on a website like About, which has hosted such baffling cases as “The 20-foot-tall Monster in Montana” and “One Man’s Conversation with a Cat.”

To a degree, that assessment would be correct. This story isn’t as wild or outlandish as the other stories I’ve covered from there. However, it has one thing every other case lacks. What is that thing? Well, why should I spoil it? Come along, dear reader; let’s dive into the case of one man’s bent key and see what makes this special.

Decemystery (2024) 25: “We’re Gonna Be a Family Again Soon.”

 

When I made Decemystery 2024’s schedule, the plan was to have it be the biggest and best one ever, complete with stories that would leave you absolutely floored. This didn’t happen for reasons I’ve made abundantly clear throughout this month; I’ve bemoaned my mental health enough to where I’m sick of seeing the words get typed. Despite that, I still type them. Why? Don’t ask questions I can’t provide answers to, dear reader.

As a result of those issues, I uprooted the entire schedule but kept five of the original stories. The first was “The Triangle Creature,” which I only kept because of the name. Seriously, that name is amazing.

The second was “The Man From the Box,” which I was so close to not covering. Funnily enough, I also think it’s one of the main reasons why I fell behind schedule. It took a while to write, and while it was fun in hindsight, it also screwed me over badly.

Anyway, the third story was “bubbles.avi,” and I just now realized that I missed the opportunity to make a Bubble Buddy joke in the write-up. You know, the character from that one episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. I mentioned SpongeBob in the meme theory, but I failed to make the most obvious joke! This is what happens when you’re racing against the clock.

The fourth and most recent “purge survivor,” as I’ve called these write-ups, is “The Hawaiian Chupacabra,” which I think is one of the best articles I’ve ever done. I’m still so happy with it, even if I did digress quite a lot when discussing the Chupacabra itself.

Those four stories are the ones that survived the “purge.” Now, at long last, it’s time for the fifth one…

Which was actually scrapped because I fell behind schedule. Well, the original story was.

Yes, in a year filled with schedule changes, the original fifth survivor was taken out behind the shed and Old Yeller’d with some buckshot. I then had to dig up the corpse of another story to take its place—and that wording was not intended, given what you’re going to read later. My subconscious is screwing with me, and it’s only 2:36 in the afternoon.

Anyway, the story I opted to dredge up is from 4chan. Yes, we’ll be revisiting the site that I had no plans to revisit after I wrote about “A 4channer’s Disturbing VHS Discovery.” Why? Because I refuse to lose to the concept of time. I am far too arrogant to lose to clocks and calendars, dang it!

So, how do I intend to celebrate Christmas Day with you before we get to the Bonus Entry tonight? Well, you see, this isn’t any ordinary scary story. This is one that I said I didn’t think I could do justice to due to the time constraints. However, I’m feeling motivated, energized, and, above all else, eager to share something truly horrifying with you.

This is a story that does not bear a title. It does not bear any images. It does not bear anything other than one truly unsettling phrase; it’s a phrase that never fails to send a shiver down my spine.

“We’re Gonna Be a Family Again Soon.”

Decemystery (2024) 23: The 2006 Fort Pierce Alien Abduction

 

Once upon a time, there lived a doe-eyed lad who enjoyed UFOs and all things associated with them. He’d go to the library and borrow tons of books related to UFO sightings, the Roswell Incident, and Area 51. He’d read them over and over and would watch all sorts of specials on UFOs and the fantastical theories surrounding them.

As time went on, the lad came to love the stories so much that he would tell his friends and family about them. His friends weren’t as interested in the topics; they were more interested in sports. The lad’s family, meanwhile, liked that he’d found something he enjoyed oh so much.

That lad was me, Vertigo, the fellow who operates this blog. After growing up loving anything and everything related to the unknown and mysterious, I am now living my dream of writing about it. Well, I’m living it when my mental health isn’t restricting me to staring at my Android screen while time ticks by.

Ah, but I’m not here to dwell on my personal struggles; I’ve done that more than enough throughout this month. No, I’m here, once again, to mention just how much I love the topics that I write about. I’ve made it no secret that I relished reading and watching everything I could about cryptids, ghosts, UFOs, and more. While the topic of ghosts has become one of my lesser favorites as time has gone on, the others have remained at the forefront of my mind.

The subject of UFOs is probably the one that I enjoy thinking about the most. The idea that we’re alone in the universe is as terrifying as it is bizarre. It’s also fascinating to wonder what they may think of our humble blue planet. Too bad they won’t respond to our calls. Someone’s got to be home! Right?

Oh well, the topic of extraterrestrial life deserves its own write-up one day—preferably when I have a year or two to write it and finely craft it from the ground up. For now, I’ve got individual reports from people who have seen UFOs and aliens—and in some cases, reports where they’ve even made contact with the extraterrestrials!

That said, I’m not missing anything, am I? Nah, that’s crazy. How could I possibly forget anything? It’s not like I haven’t repeated myself nonstop about how human memory is fallible and unreliable.

Oh, wait, I’m wrong on both fronts. My memory sucks. Also, I’m forgetting alien abductions.

Indeed, while I may be rather outspoken about my doubts regarding alien abductions as an adult, I was fascinated by them as a child. I’m not sure if this contradicts what my past self said, but I’ll gladly correct the record. There was a part of me that was intrigued by the story of Betty and Barney Hill as a child. I always wondered what happened to them and if they were truly the victims of an alien abduction.

I don’t remember when my views on the subject changed. If I had to guess, I’d say that it was a few years back. The seeds of doubt were always there, but something finally reaped them, and I’ve become increasingly doubtful of the legitimacy of most abduction claims.

I digress, though. What does this have to do with today’s write-up? Well, if you’ve been keeping up with Decemystery 2024, you’ll remember that last Tuesday, I said that I’d be covering two cases related to alien abductions. Today, we’ll be discussing the second one. Like last time, I want to see if this story can throw me for a loop and make me wonder if maybe, just maybe, my stance on alien abductions isn’t correct.

I don’t see any reason to delay any further, so come along, dear reader; let’s take a trip down to Florida and investigate The 2006 Fort Pierce Alien Abduction. I really need to think of better names for alien abduction stories. Eh, maybe next year. For now, I want to focus on seeing if this will be the alien abduction case that changes my outlook on the matter at hand.

Decemystery (2024) 22: The Day the Earth Screamed

 

Okay, let’s see. I’ve got Queen playing. It’s a quarter after noon. I’ve barely eaten. I have a bit of chocolate milk and Pepsi…

And it’s the first day of December.

For the sixth time around—five if you wish to count the Decemystery duology as one entity (as I’ve said in the past: I don’t)—writing Decemystery has dragged into December. This series has siphoned my love for the final month of the year because of how often I find myself looking at the clock while cursing my brain for being as metaphorically blended as a milkshake.

Lucky for you and me, dear reader, I happen to love writing, so I’m not upset. I’m only deeply pissed off on a very personal level that I don’t wish to discuss because that anger is between me and something that was outside of my control. All I’ll say is that it’s like being mad at the weather—if the weather were controlled by the biggest jerk you knew.

Anyway, what does that have to do with today’s write-up? Well, oddly enough, quite a lot. When I began working on Decemystery 2024 back in mid-August, I knew that it was going to carry into December. The only way it wouldn’t is if I approached it half-heartedly. That wasn’t something I intended to do. I did that in 2020, and it remains one of my greatest regrets because I think the quality of most of the write-ups is horrendous.

However, I had a contingency plan for this year, and it was similar to the one I had for last year. That was to make the final stretch of stories simple; they’re ones that I knew I could cover without much trouble. If anything had to be changed, I had even easier ones to fall back on (which, as of writing, I may have to do, albeit begrudgingly).

That brings us to today’s write-up. I consider it a part of that contingency plan. It’s simple, straightforward, and hails from the Conspiracy Iceberg. It’s also one that I don’t believe was ever considered for last year. If it was, I have no way to find out since I deleted the finalized schedules for both Decemysterys. How fitting that the plans I had for a blog dedicated to mysteries are becoming mysteries themselves.

Oh well, I digress. It’s time for the fourth Conspiracy Iceberg entry to be examined, and it’s one of the best-named out there. It’s known as The Day the Earth Screamed, and it’s appropriately named because all I want to do right now is scream. God, please, let 2025 be the year I can spend this month in peace.

Decemystery (2024) 2: The Gargoyle in the Shrubs

If you read yesterday’s write-up to the then, then I mentioned that I would be revisiting a website called “About.com” this month. Well, I mentioned that because—surprise, surprise—we’re visiting it today!

For those who don’t know, I found out about “About” last year while I was looking for stories on sustained_disgust’s Obscure Unsolved Mysteries Iceberg. The site is now defunct, but a lot of incredibly strange and fascinating stories were archived via the Wayback Machine. I covered a plethora of them last year, and I have every intention of going through even more this year.

While that does mean I won’t get to look for additional details online, I’m not too upset. After the 30,113-word-long behemoth that was Decemystery 2024’s inaugural story, I feel like taking it easy and conveying a short and strange tale of the Fortean is preferable to overexerting myself and suffering from severe burnout. The last thing I desire is to have this series go incomplete because I thought it would be a good idea to force myself to do something I don’t want.

Anyway, let’s get back on track. With an archive that has enough material to sustain me for a year, choosing a story is easier said than done. There were numerous cases that I wanted to cover, but I felt that if I went with the first thing I saw, I would miss out on an even better story on another case. Well, lo and behold, that feeling proved to have merit!

As I was eating dinner one night, snooping around About’s archives, I came across a story entitled “Gargoyle in the Shrubs.” This caught my eye for two reasons. The first was that stories of gargoyles are quite interesting. Reports of them are, for some peculiar reason, not unheard of; I would like to do a lengthier write-up on them, but my mental health has an allergy to them, along with writing prior to the halfway point of the year.

The second is that last year, I wrote about a story called The Gargoyle at the Window, which was also from the depths of About’s archives. So, I figured that it would be fun to cover another story about a gargoyle. Who knows, maybe it’ll become a Decemystery tradition, like covering stories from the Conspiracy Iceberg!

Anyway, enough blabbering; it’s time to get into the story. Come along, dear reader, as we dive into the story of The Gargoyle in the Shrubs! Also, doing intros has become much easier since last year’s Decemystery duology.

Decemystery (2024) 1: The Nickelodeon Hamster Wheel Broadcast

Let’s play a game. It’s called “What would Vertigo’s autobiography be called?” Personally, I think it would be entitled “What if My Life Wasn’t a Roller Coaster Designed By Satan?”

The reason for such a morbid title is that, ever since I began this blog, even-numbered years in my life have been plagued by a plethora of obnoxious issues. Meanwhile, odd-numbered years have been generally good. Well, for the most part. 2021 wasn’t very good, but I digress. You can’t win ‘em all, especially when you have undiagnosed and untreated bipolar disorder.

You especially can’t win ‘em all when dealing with brain fog; COVID and hypomania overlapping is just about the most fog-inducing thing I’ve experienced since entering Silent Hill, and it’s because of that fogginess that 2022 was the year without a Decemystery; thank God I made up for it last year. Too bad I developed carpal tunnel syndrome from all of that writing. I still haven’t fixed that, by the way. I wonder how my hands will feel when I finish this year’s Decemystery!

Anyway, what does any of this have to do with the introduction to Decemystery 2024? Well, as you can likely guess based on the comically small number of blog posts this year, bipolar overtook my life again—and so did COVID! Wow, it’s like a greatest hits album from 2022, only the so-called “hits” all suck like black holes.

Thankfully, the album was cut short because it must have been produced by the world’s worst record producer. So I was spared the indignity of dual-action brain fog that made it feel like my brain was the basis for a David Cronenberg remake of John Carpenter’s The Fog. Only instead of disgruntled ghosts, it was a mental illness and respiratory virus.

On the flip side, it’s currently August. That means, once again, I’m on the clock. So, much to my dismay, I had to scrap a lot of the grander and what would have undoubtedly been much lengthier stories that I had wanted to do this year. Maybe they’ll be written about in 2025. Who knows; I’ve always sucked at abiding by a schedule throughout my adult life. Regardless, if you were hoping for me to cover Sam the Sandown Ghost Clown, you’re out of luck.

Despite that setback, five stories managed to survive the purge; I’ll be sure to mention that when I get around to writing about them. Until then, it’s time to finally jump to today’s story. Honestly, it’s one that I, oddly, have never really considered writing about.

Internet mysteries, much like lost media, are, more often than not, something that I turn a blind eye to. There are enough YouTubers who cover them, and my input is far from worthwhile. I know that may seem like I’m selling myself short, but I genuinely do not believe my input means that much when countless other content creators have thrown their two cents into the ring—and they tend to be far better researchers than I am. Also, they have better production quality. All I have is text and still images. They have narration and fancy moving pictures.

However, despite that, there are a few exceptions I’m willing to make. Namely the much sillier and more outlandish Internet mysteries. I’ve also made a couple of exceptions when it comes to lost media, and I have no doubt that I will do so in the future. As for why I made an exception with this particular case, that’s easy. I thought it provided the perfect blend of strangeness and downright goofiness for me to leap back into the world of writing.

In other words, it was all but screaming my name. Thankfully, it didn’t actually do so. If it did, I think I’d have a much more horrifying story to write about.

Anyway, enough rambling. For the sixth time in this blog’s history, it’s time for Decemystery to begin—possibly the fifth time if you wish to count the duology last year as one entity. Personally, I don’t, but I digress once more. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to go over the truly odd tale of The Nickelodeon Hamster Wheel Broadcast! And with that, Decemystery 2024 begins now!

Decemystery (2022.3) 31: That Time Professor Oak Kidnapped A Child

 

Content warning: this write-up contains mentions of child sexual abuse.

This month has been filled with an absolutely massive amount of weirdness. From space penguins to vampiric caterpillars and tongue monsters to dancing bulls, this December takes the cake as the strangest of them all. Though, as is the case with Decemystery, I’ve saved the oddest story for last. For the capstone of Decemystery 2022.3, I have whatever you can call this story.

Despite being a rather harmless series on the surface, Pokémon has had a bizarrely large amount of controversy surrounding it throughout the years. While nowadays, it’s primarily criticized for the lackluster graphics and, in the case of the two most recent releases, polish, its early days had some other criticisms. From one side, you had PETA lambasted it for animal cruelty. On the other side, you had some religious groups accuse it of being Satanic for teaching evolution.

Today’s story will take us back in time to that time period, a time when video games had controversies that didn’t involve loot boxes and microtransactions. No, it was a simpler time. So to round off this Decemystery, let’s discuss That Time Professor Oak Kidnapped A Child. This one’s going to be a doozy.

Decemystery (2023) 28: The Vampire of Ward End

 

Hello, dear reader! Let me tell you about something: I’m prone to wanting to write about things if they piqued my curiosity enough. That means I’ll abandon plans to cover a story if I stumble across something that catches my eye. This write-up right here is an example of that; I found it by complete accident and was like, “I want to write about this.”

I’ve already discussed vampires once this month, and it’s not the last time we’ll be covering them (no, the finale comes tomorrow in spectacularly weird fashion). So come along; this is the story of The Vampire of Ward End!

Decemystery (2023) 22: The Giant Golden Mosquito of Missolonghi

Growing up in suburban New York, I was accustomed to summers being filled with mosquitoes. I hated it with every fiber of my being. It was made worse by my friends talking about West Nile Virus and talking about how mosquitoes would be the death of me and the rest of us. Thankfully, I didn’t die because of those winged demons, so I can continue to write about the wild mysteries I find.

For today’s Decemystery entry, we’ll be taking a trip over to Greece. Somehow, this country has never been featured in a write-up on this blog until today—despite thousands of years of history being readily available for me to cover. Well, better late than never!

Today, we’ll be headed to one of Greece’s many coastal areas—specifically Missolonghi (or Messolonghi; I’ve seen it spelled both ways, but I’ll be going with the former). It’s here where one Greek citizen’s world would be changed forever; I am not good at setting a dramatic mood, I know. Anyway, come along, dear reader; this is the story of The Giant Golden Mosquito of Missolonghi! Would you believe me if I told you that this was a UFO sighting? Yeah, this is a UFO sighting. Trust me, I’m just as confused as you (possibly) are.

Decemystery (2022.3) 22: That Time Someone Saw the Joker in Their Closet

 

I remember as a child that I, for whatever reason, never had a real fear of monsters under my bed or in my closet. I guess that’s because I slept on a couch (I still do—old habits die hard) and because my duodenal ulcers hurt too much for me to be afraid of the dark.

That said, I will admit that closets can be pretty dang scary. Tight, enclosed spaces with little-to-no light are unsettling. For me, though, my fear isn’t some monster leaping out to attack me while in them. No, it’s if there’s a spider in there with me. That chick from The Grudge could be in there, ready to kill me, and I’ll still be more terrified of the spider that’s as big as the tip of my pinky finger. 

Although I never got to experience the fear of monsters in the closet, though, plenty have. In today’s story, someone found that fear to be all too real; our eyewitness insists that it was neither a dream nor her imagination. Indeed, this lady believes that one of the most iconic villains in comic book history was peering out from her closet. So come along, dear reader, let us dive into the story of That Time Someone Saw the Joker in Their Closet!

Decemystery (2023) 21: The Bat Boy of Roswell

I have to say, when I opted to do two concurrent Decemysterys, I had no idea that I’d be working on them into November. I know that sounds absurd; there are 64 write-ups in total, after all. The thing is, I have absolutely no understanding of “foresight.” That means I frequently end up overworking myself and getting exhausted to the point of burnout. Add on a great many inconvenient happenings (not to mention procrastination), and you have a recipe for wanting to curl up and hibernate until, say, next Halloween or so.

Unfortunately, such a thing is not permissible, thanks to my undying desire to see this project through; my own desires for a year-long sleep be damned! There’s writing to be done, and today’s story is one that must be written lest I feel a great level of regret for not covering it. It’s one that caught my attention for one very specific reason—one that I won’t be delving into until the theories section. However, anyone who recognizes the header image likely knows why. For everyone else, just know that it’s because it holds a very special place in my heart.

Now, then, onto the story itself. This month has been chock full of weird, unbelievable stories, and this one is no different. Come along, dear reader; it’s time to head to the southwestern United States to one of the most important locations in UFO lore. Let’s dive into the absolutely glorious case of The Bat Boy of Roswell!

Decemystery (2022.3) 15: The 20-foot-tall Monster in Montana

Montana is a state that I feel is sorely overlooked when it comes to beauty and mysteries. There are a surprising number of cryptids, ranging from Bigfoot and Wendigo sightings, UFO reports, unsolved murders and disappearances, and the folkloric “Shunka Warak’in,” a hyena-like quadruped whose name translates to “carries off dogs.”

Indeed, there’s a lot that Montana holds; God willing, I’ll cover a few of those stories next year. Until then, today’s story is one of the more fantastical cases from The Treasure State—not to mention one that is more “out there.” I call it The 20-foot-tall Monster in Montana because there’s no other way to put it. So come along, dear reader, let’s explore Big Sky Country together!

Decemystery (2023) 14: The Shrieking Hulk

 

A quick note before we begin: this image has nothing to do with the story, but I thought it was too funny not to use; if anyone knows where it’s from, let me know!

One of my greatest dreams—as of the time of writing—is to go hunting for Bigfoot with a few of my friends. Although I hate the idea of going camping, my love for the legend of Bigfoot outweighs that dislike. As such, I often tell my closest friends how awesome it’d be if we got together and went hunting for the infamous ape-man in what I envision as a fun time out in the wilderness. That, or we go ghost hunting at a place like Waverly Hills Sanitorium. Boy, there’s a place I desperately need to do a write-up on!

Of course, there are a lot of logistical hurdles that would need to be overcome for this dream to be achieved. As it stands, I cannot overcome a single one, so it remains nothing more than a dream that I shall think about until it comes true or I give up on it. Lucky for me, dreams drive me to at least continue pursuing the things that I love—in the case of today’s Decemystery entry, a case about a creature that reminded me a great deal of the aforementioned Bigfoot.

While browsing through the ever-so-amazing About archives, a story caught my eye. At first, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cover it since I didn’t want to poach an ungodly number of cases from the site, especially since I feel that a fair number of them tend to end with me feeling a bit uncertain about what it was. However, the more I thought about this case, the more I was quite confident that I could draw a concrete conclusion. So come along, dear reader; this is the tale of The Shrieking Hulk!

Decemystery (2023) 12: The Phantom Honda Civic

Disclaimer: the car in the header image is a 2001 Honda Civic, which wasn’t available for purchase at the time this story took place. I’m using it because it’s the best Honda Civic, and you can’t change my mind. :) This story is also dedicated to a friend of mine who goes by 2001 Honda Civic. There is absolutely no connection there whatsoever.

In this blog’s life, I’ve discussed a fair number of odd paranormal happenings. Whether it be ghost ships, Pokémon acting like an Incubus, or ghost moose, I’ve covered an array of wild ghostly tales. Yet, despite all of those stories, there’s one topic I’ve avoided: ghost cars; they’re cars that appear from seemingly nowhere, only to disappear in one way or another. It’s like they went out to buy the car equivalent of milk and cigarettes.

I remember having plans to cover a ghost car mystery—a famous one at that—all the way back in 2019. As is plainly evident, I never got around to it because of time constraints. I made plans to cover it every subsequent year at some point, but for one reason or another, I didn’t get to it. Today, however, I will rectify not having covered a ghost car story; it’s not that previously-mentioned famous case (which, for those curious, is the Garden City Ghost Car), but it’s still a ghost car story—and it’s one that I think is pretty dang interesting.

Our story today is a short, simple, and sweet one; I found it while browsing the gold mine that is the archives of About. It’s known as The Phantom Honda Civic. So come along, dear reader; let’s go ghost car hunting!

Decemystery (2023) 8: The Creepy Clown in the Bedroom

 

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. Like arachnophobia and agoraphobia (and many others), it’s one of the most common phobias in the world. Personally, I was never afraid of clowns. Many of my friends and family members, however, are, and I get it. They have permanent smiles along with zany makeup and are generally uncanny to look at. Not to mention, some of the most iconic villains are clowns: The Joker and Pennywise are two examples. Couple that with a serial killer like John Wayne Gacy—who worked as Pogo the Clown—and you have a happy-go-lucky image that can easily be warped into nothing less than a monster.

Of course, phobias are irrational fears; clowns aren’t all interdimensional beings, murderous psychopaths who like to screw with a billionaire who dresses up as bats, or unspeakable human trash like John Wayne Gacy. Despite that, phobias can be exceedingly difficult to deal with, and Coulrophobia is no different. That, to me, is what makes stories of creepy clowns so interesting; I’m not someone who’s acutely fearful of them, but I know many who see someone in scary clown makeup and react like I do when I see a spider or any other creepy crawler.

That brings me to today’s Decemystery entry. It’s a very simple tale: no aliens, no cryptids, nothing but a scary sight in the bedroom. So, come along; it’s time to dive into the story of The Creepy Clown in the Bedroom. Look, I couldn’t think of anything snazzier; I’m running on fumes over here.