Decemystery (2024) 31: The Boy Who Lost His Memory of October

 

It’s New Year’s Eve. That time of the year when you can plan your New Year’s Resolution, only to abandon it a few days later because, let’s face it, old habits die hard. That’s why my resolution for 2025 is not to plan a single thing for this blog; I’ll just play it by ear.

But that’s for tomorrow. Today is the last day of Decemystery 2024, and I’d say we’ve had quite a unique ride. We’ve talked about tall aliens, a mummy, a talking cat, the Easter Bunny, and headless aliens!

And I can’t say I remember writing any of it.

No, that isn’t hyperbole. Just like last year, the fact I went from story to story without a real break in between means that everything feels like a blur at best. At worst, I straight-up can’t recall writing the article because I did it in a frenzied state where I was exhausted.

That’s what makes today’s case so interesting to me. It was one that I came across by pure chance, but it fits that feeling so well. In a way, it embodies what 2024 has been for me: A year that I cannot remember.

Serving as the capstone entry for Decemystery 2024 is the story of The Boy Who Lost His Memory of October. Where did the rest of the intro go? I lost it, along with my memory of 2024. Now, come along; let’s wrap this up so I can go back to playing Granblue Fantasy Relink.

Decemystery (2024) 29: The Red-Furred... Thing

Some of you may be wondering what’s up with that header image. Well, allow me to explain it to you, dear reader.

I want everyone to know that I am writing this roughly 14 hours after the previous write-up. If you didn’t read that unhinged diatribe of mayhem and joy, I spent 15 hours on the road yesterday and wrote the article over the span of a mere 3 hours.

I thought that I would pass out the second I was done. I was wrong. I was awake until 1:30 in the morning; I was up for 23 and a half hours because I was riding a bipolar-induced high from the frenetic writing I did (which I mentioned in the conclusion of the write-up).

Thankfully, melatonin was there to save the day—albeit less than I usually take. That’s likely why I went to bed later than I should have, but oh well. It took a while, but I did sleep for nine hours. It was nice and comfy underneath my blanket. It was less nice and comfy in my borderline fever-dream-infested mind.

It was even less nice when I woke up.

Holy crap, I woke up with the worst headache imaginable. It felt like a gorilla was using my head as a punching bag. I have no idea if I caught something over the holidays or if it’s just the lack of proper sleep, but it feels like Death took a holiday in my skull.

Normally, that would be grounds for not writing and instead resting so I get better. However, as my friends will tell you, I do not understand the concept of “getting proper rest” when I am sick. Why is that? Because I get highly irritable and restless when I am not doing something.

That means it’s time for “Physically Unwell Storytime with Vertigo,” presented by a bottle of Tylenol. So, what’s today’s story? What do I, a man who feels like utter trash, have in store for you, dear reader?

Something that gives me a headache on its own.

This case was on the cusp of being axed because I simply wasn’t sure if I felt like covering another cryptid case. But then I realized that might be a good way to exert the frustration I’m feeling from the headache. So, come along; take a seat outside of my plastic bubble while I tell you about The Red-Furred… Thing.

What, is that an abrupt lead-in to the write-up? So is a rapid-onset of post-Christmas sickness.

Decemystery (2024) 28: The Head-scratching Encounter with Headless Aliens

 

So, yesterday, I said I had scrapped two stories. One of them was an absolutely wild and crazy story involving extraterrestrials. In truth, I could have covered it, but I’d prefer it if I had a few days to work on it. As it stands, I’m writing these articles the day before they go up.

However, I did want to somehow keep my word by providing one final whacky foray into the realm of aliens—even if it wasn’t the story I’d planned to cover. Lucky for me, I had no shortage of stories to pick from!

While most think of Greys when they think of extraterrestrials, the truth is that there are numerous types of aliens in ufology. Don’t believe me? Go look at the “UFO/Aliens” tag on this blog. Alternatively, go look at the intro to “The 8-foot-tall Alien of Fort Wayne,” where I listed out a bunch of cases I’ve covered.

When deciding on which case to go with, I considered going to the database of the National UFO Reporting Center (NUFORC) to poach a story that sounded odd.

However, I quickly opted against that when I was browsing through my Google documents. Yes, just like the other day with “The Ghost Who Took a Pair of Socks,” my own archive came to the rescue. How quaint.

Just like the story mentioned earlier, this one was planned for last year’s Decemystery duology and even briefly on the schedule for this year—I think. It might’ve been one that got added and subsequently removed about a dozen times because I can be woefully indecisive.

Today, dear reader, we’ll be taking a look at… well, just read the title of the write-up. Despite the lack of a head, it speaks for itself. If you’re unable to hear its voice, it’s known as the case of The Head-scratching Encounter with Headless Aliens! Now, strap in, dear reader, because this is going to get oh-so-delightfully weird—and absolutely ridiculous.

Decemystery (2024) 27: The Bent Key

 

Well, this is disappointing. Today’s story was intended to be about something that I had teased in the inaugural write-up for this month. It was the story of a mother and son (or daughter; I’m pretty sure I got the details wrong) who shared the same dream. I was quite eager to cover the story until I realized I had 27 pages of material I needed to comb through.

The story I had planned for today originates from the Forteana Forums. I cannot—by any stretch of the imagination—write the entire thing in one go without sacrificing my physical and mental well-being. I may be willing to push myself past my limits, but this would’ve required me to stay up for over 24 hours if I wanted to put a dent in the story. As such, I’ve opted to put it—along with an absolutely bonkers UFO case—on the back burner until next year.

To say that I’m disappointed would be an understatement; I hate that I teased not one but two write-ups and had to yank them at the last second because I didn’t think to cover them sooner. But, hey, it’s not the first time that I’ve had to make schedule changes. I know it won’t be the last, either.

So, how does that tie into today’s write-up? Well, initially, I had no real worthwhile replacement. Given I had to make this change at the very last moment (I’m serious; I was at a Christmas get-together when I made the change), I had no idea what I’d do.

Ultimately, I decided I’d grab a random story from About—my favorite go-to source for random stuff to cover and call it a day—and hope that the apology I gave would be good enough. Yeah, I know that isn’t the best look, but I’m stressed beyond belief, and my brain isn’t exactly “all there.”

However, everything changed when I stumbled across one case: The Bent Key. At first glance, that title is about as uninteresting, lame, and innocuous as can be. In fact, it sounds like it doesn’t belong on a website like About, which has hosted such baffling cases as “The 20-foot-tall Monster in Montana” and “One Man’s Conversation with a Cat.”

To a degree, that assessment would be correct. This story isn’t as wild or outlandish as the other stories I’ve covered from there. However, it has one thing every other case lacks. What is that thing? Well, why should I spoil it? Come along, dear reader; let’s dive into the case of one man’s bent key and see what makes this special.

Decemystery (2024) 26: The Ghost Who Took a Pair of Socks

 

Here’s an odd story: I was looking through my Google documents to see if there would be an easy case to cover. As I’ve made explicitly clear a multitude of times throughout this month, I’ve been strapped for time—and this has been no more apparent than right now. I’m writing this on Christmas Eve; it’ll likely be finished tomorrow, the day before it goes up.

Anyway, while looking through old documents, I came across this one. I barely remembered, and I can’t even recall why it wasn’t deleted.

I’m serious; I have no recollection of this story outside of it briefly being considered for last year’s Decemystery duology. It isn’t on sustained_disgust’s Obscure Unsolved Mysteries Iceberg. I don’t recall telling any of my friends about it. It’s just here, in a document, with one sentence that was written on November 30, 2023. It reads as follows:

Okay, so I had no plans to cover another story from “It Happened To Me,” but I found one mere minutes ago that was way too good to pass up.

Well, a year later, I guess the story wasn’t as good as my younger self thought it to be.

Or maybe it is, and I didn’t give it a fair chance. Today, I want to find out with you, dear reader. This month has been filled with a lot of twists and turns, but none will be more unique than exploring a remnant from last year’s Decemystery duology that even I, the writer of these articles, forgot the origin of.

So, I invite you to accompany me over to the United Kingdom as we investigate a weird ghost story that sounds closer to a comedy short. This is the case of The Ghost Who Took a Pair of Socks. I’d tell you to hold onto your socks, but I don’t want to attract the specter we’re looking into.

Hey, where’d my socks go?

Decemystery (2024) 25: “We’re Gonna Be a Family Again Soon.”

 

When I made Decemystery 2024’s schedule, the plan was to have it be the biggest and best one ever, complete with stories that would leave you absolutely floored. This didn’t happen for reasons I’ve made abundantly clear throughout this month; I’ve bemoaned my mental health enough to where I’m sick of seeing the words get typed. Despite that, I still type them. Why? Don’t ask questions I can’t provide answers to, dear reader.

As a result of those issues, I uprooted the entire schedule but kept five of the original stories. The first was “The Triangle Creature,” which I only kept because of the name. Seriously, that name is amazing.

The second was “The Man From the Box,” which I was so close to not covering. Funnily enough, I also think it’s one of the main reasons why I fell behind schedule. It took a while to write, and while it was fun in hindsight, it also screwed me over badly.

Anyway, the third story was “bubbles.avi,” and I just now realized that I missed the opportunity to make a Bubble Buddy joke in the write-up. You know, the character from that one episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. I mentioned SpongeBob in the meme theory, but I failed to make the most obvious joke! This is what happens when you’re racing against the clock.

The fourth and most recent “purge survivor,” as I’ve called these write-ups, is “The Hawaiian Chupacabra,” which I think is one of the best articles I’ve ever done. I’m still so happy with it, even if I did digress quite a lot when discussing the Chupacabra itself.

Those four stories are the ones that survived the “purge.” Now, at long last, it’s time for the fifth one…

Which was actually scrapped because I fell behind schedule. Well, the original story was.

Yes, in a year filled with schedule changes, the original fifth survivor was taken out behind the shed and Old Yeller’d with some buckshot. I then had to dig up the corpse of another story to take its place—and that wording was not intended, given what you’re going to read later. My subconscious is screwing with me, and it’s only 2:36 in the afternoon.

Anyway, the story I opted to dredge up is from 4chan. Yes, we’ll be revisiting the site that I had no plans to revisit after I wrote about “A 4channer’s Disturbing VHS Discovery.” Why? Because I refuse to lose to the concept of time. I am far too arrogant to lose to clocks and calendars, dang it!

So, how do I intend to celebrate Christmas Day with you before we get to the Bonus Entry tonight? Well, you see, this isn’t any ordinary scary story. This is one that I said I didn’t think I could do justice to due to the time constraints. However, I’m feeling motivated, energized, and, above all else, eager to share something truly horrifying with you.

This is a story that does not bear a title. It does not bear any images. It does not bear anything other than one truly unsettling phrase; it’s a phrase that never fails to send a shiver down my spine.

“We’re Gonna Be a Family Again Soon.”

Decemystery (2024) 24: The Hopping Creature of Gardnerville

 

It’s Christmas Eve, the night before the happiest, jolliest, most wondrous time of the year. I wonder what I’ll be doing that day. I hope it’s nothing stressful!

Anyway, if you read the write-up on “The Day the Earth Screamed” the other day, you’d know that I said that I had “easier stories” to fall back on if I needed to switch up the schedule for this month if it came to that. Lo and behold, yes, it did; today’s story wasn’t intended to be covered. I had another alien account in mind, but I’m at the point where I want to be done with writing so I can stop treating clocks and calendars with the same level of fear that I’d treat being cornered by a pit bull.

Because I want simple stuff, I went over to About, my favorite defunct online repertoire of stories; the despair I feel whenever I’m reminded of that is enough to turn me into a Sock and Buskin mask. God, I need to find more websites like it.

Oh well, I can do that when I’m not racing against the clock. So, what’s today’s impromptu tale of strangeness? Well, honestly, I don’t really know. It’s one that I picked out at pure random and went with because the title was interesting to me.

No, really, that was why I went with it. I’ve mentioned in the past—but I don’t think recently—that I’ve covered some stories because of their name. Even if I haven’t read the case, I’ve gone ahead and said, “I want to cover that,” to myself. This has backfired on more than several occasions, but since when have I ever learned my lesson? I’ve done Decemystery since 2018 (2022 doesn’t count) and have yet to learn how to temper my workload.

I digress, though; today’s mystery takes us over to Nevada, a state that—strangely enough—has yet to be featured on this blog outside of a write-up from 2019 where I (haphazardly) covered the theories surrounding Stephen Paddock, the man who perpetrated the 2017 Las Vegas Massacre.

However, when it comes to cryptids or UFOs, Nevada has been noticeably absent. It’s been mentioned numerous times, thanks to Area 51, but it’s somehow slipped through the cracks otherwise.

No longer, though! Today, we’ll be discussing something that I call The Hopping Creature of Gardnerville. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head on over to one of the United States’ most culturally notorious states, a place that has become synonymous with gold, gambling, and oh-so-many more salacious things. Strap in because the land of Sin City is finally getting the spotlight shone on it!

Decemystery (2024) 23: The 2006 Fort Pierce Alien Abduction

 

Once upon a time, there lived a doe-eyed lad who enjoyed UFOs and all things associated with them. He’d go to the library and borrow tons of books related to UFO sightings, the Roswell Incident, and Area 51. He’d read them over and over and would watch all sorts of specials on UFOs and the fantastical theories surrounding them.

As time went on, the lad came to love the stories so much that he would tell his friends and family about them. His friends weren’t as interested in the topics; they were more interested in sports. The lad’s family, meanwhile, liked that he’d found something he enjoyed oh so much.

That lad was me, Vertigo, the fellow who operates this blog. After growing up loving anything and everything related to the unknown and mysterious, I am now living my dream of writing about it. Well, I’m living it when my mental health isn’t restricting me to staring at my Android screen while time ticks by.

Ah, but I’m not here to dwell on my personal struggles; I’ve done that more than enough throughout this month. No, I’m here, once again, to mention just how much I love the topics that I write about. I’ve made it no secret that I relished reading and watching everything I could about cryptids, ghosts, UFOs, and more. While the topic of ghosts has become one of my lesser favorites as time has gone on, the others have remained at the forefront of my mind.

The subject of UFOs is probably the one that I enjoy thinking about the most. The idea that we’re alone in the universe is as terrifying as it is bizarre. It’s also fascinating to wonder what they may think of our humble blue planet. Too bad they won’t respond to our calls. Someone’s got to be home! Right?

Oh well, the topic of extraterrestrial life deserves its own write-up one day—preferably when I have a year or two to write it and finely craft it from the ground up. For now, I’ve got individual reports from people who have seen UFOs and aliens—and in some cases, reports where they’ve even made contact with the extraterrestrials!

That said, I’m not missing anything, am I? Nah, that’s crazy. How could I possibly forget anything? It’s not like I haven’t repeated myself nonstop about how human memory is fallible and unreliable.

Oh, wait, I’m wrong on both fronts. My memory sucks. Also, I’m forgetting alien abductions.

Indeed, while I may be rather outspoken about my doubts regarding alien abductions as an adult, I was fascinated by them as a child. I’m not sure if this contradicts what my past self said, but I’ll gladly correct the record. There was a part of me that was intrigued by the story of Betty and Barney Hill as a child. I always wondered what happened to them and if they were truly the victims of an alien abduction.

I don’t remember when my views on the subject changed. If I had to guess, I’d say that it was a few years back. The seeds of doubt were always there, but something finally reaped them, and I’ve become increasingly doubtful of the legitimacy of most abduction claims.

I digress, though. What does this have to do with today’s write-up? Well, if you’ve been keeping up with Decemystery 2024, you’ll remember that last Tuesday, I said that I’d be covering two cases related to alien abductions. Today, we’ll be discussing the second one. Like last time, I want to see if this story can throw me for a loop and make me wonder if maybe, just maybe, my stance on alien abductions isn’t correct.

I don’t see any reason to delay any further, so come along, dear reader; let’s take a trip down to Florida and investigate The 2006 Fort Pierce Alien Abduction. I really need to think of better names for alien abduction stories. Eh, maybe next year. For now, I want to focus on seeing if this will be the alien abduction case that changes my outlook on the matter at hand.

Decemystery (2024) 21: A 4channer’s Disturbing VHS Discovery

 

Something I’ve expressed a great deal of interest in doing is covering more stories from 4chan. Primarily cases from the site’s paranormal board, /x/, though I’m open to writing about tales from just about any board if it’s adequately strange enough.

Now, I have a feeling there are more than a few of you who find that idea rather silly. After all, 4chan is notorious for hoaxes and pranks; as such, covering the innumerable Fleshgait, UFO, cryptid, and ghost stories will result in me labeling the case a hoax more often than not.

However, the reason I want to start writing about the stories isn’t because I care about their veracity. Instead, it’s because I think the stories are just outright interesting; I find them creepy, and I’d like to share many of my favorite greentext horror stories with you. They’ve provided me with a lot of enjoyment throughout the years, and I think it could be fun to dedicate write-ups to them.

Last year, I covered a story called “The Screaming Stars,” which—aside from the numerous Conspiracy Iceberg cases that I’ve covered—remains the only greentext story I’ve covered on this blog. For those unaware, greentexts are the stories that utilize the > symbol prior to a sentence.

Now, originally, I’d planned to make Decemystery 2024 the year that I’d begin this trend. I had three stories picked out that I was eager to cover. However, they were all scrapped because I wasn’t confident I could do them justice. In hindsight, I’m sure I could’ve covered one of them and brought it to life in spades, but I digress. There’s always next year.

Despite wiping those three choices from the schedule, I still wanted to cover one spooky story from 4chan. So, I went looking for one. My options were plentiful, but one stood out to me. It’s a case that doesn’t feature anything I mentioned earlier; we’re not going into the realm of the paranormal or supernatural today, dear reader. No, today, we’re tackling something that falls into a rather unique category. It’s a creepy tale that leaves me feeling uncomfortable.

Hailing from /x/, this is a story that I called A 4channer’s Disturbing VHS Discovery. It’s one that I’m pretty sure I heard a great many years ago. And now, at long last, I’ll finally begin what I hope will become a tradition like with the Conspiracy Iceberg. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to journey to the Internet’s most infamous image board and see what terrifying tale awaits us in its archives this time!

Decemystery (2024) 20: The Hawaiian Chupacabra

 

“Legendary.”

That’s the first word that comes to mind when I think of El Chupacabra. It’s one of the most widely recognizable cryptids on Earth, having achieved the same level of notoriety as some of the biggest names in cryptozoology (like Sasquatch and The Loch Ness Monster).

Despite that level of fame, the Chupacabra is something that I’ve overlooked for this blog’s entire life. Sure, I’ve brought it up periodically and have discussed it from time to time. However, in the way of it ever being at the forefront of any write-up that I’ve done, that has never happened.

The closest the Chupacabra has ever gotten to being front and center was last year when I talked about “The Mexican Tongue Monster,” but I neglected it because, at the time, the creature in that story didn’t resemble any known depiction of the iconic cryptid that I knew of. Not only that, but the title didn’t even mention the Chupacabra, which I find bizarre in hindsight. Also, this write-up and that one started the same way, with a quote from me. How fitting.

Anyway, there’s a reason I haven’t fixated on the Chupacabra yet. Simply put, I don’t think I can add anything to the story that hasn’t already been said. Like the aforementioned Sasquatch and Loch Ness Monster, there are countless television shows, specials, articles, books, videos, and podcasts that have covered the Chupacabra. What could I say that would be new or exciting?

I’m sure there’s someone out there who would argue that every voice is unique. However, in my eyes, the Chupacabra’s been covered to the point that it now resembles one of its victims. It’s hollow; there’s nothing left inside of it…

Or is there?

The Chupacabra holds a unique distinction. Given the creature’s notoriety around the planet, it’s been blamed for cattle mutilations outside of where the legend spawned from (which was Puerto Rico). Much like a virus, it spread; it was sighted in the Southern United States, Mexico, and much of Latin America, and it was blamed for leaving countless dead farm animals in its wake.

In the decades since then, some believe the Chupacabra has found its way to other continents, with some—be it jokingly or seriously—claiming that if their livestock is killed, it was the work of the vampiric cryptid. Skeptics often dismiss these reports as the work of feral dogs or some other predatory animal.

However, some reports are more enigmatic and not as easily explainable, at least in my eyes. There are countless reports that simply don’t add up in my eyes.

To offer you all an example, I have a friend from New Zealand who lived on a farm. One morning, she and her family found some sheep slaughtered. She’s a trained veterinarian and told me there was no animal that could’ve done whatever did this. The organs had been removed, and the sheep had been burned. Additionally, one had its fetus removed.

Her opinion was that it was either extraterrestrials or the Chupacabra. Honestly? I’m inclined to believe her. I thought that back in 2019 when she first told me the story, and I think that now in 2024.

As graphic and unpleasant as it may be to read that, I brought it up for one very important reason—aside from using it as an example. It was what ultimately motivated me to cover a story about the Chupacabra, so I decided that I’d finally discuss the prolific cryptid on this blog at long last.

However, that motivation would quickly flicker out. Due to mental health struggles and a plethora of other stories that I wanted to cover, covering a case featuring the Chupacabra got put on the back burner for quite some time.

It wasn’t until last year that I finally decided that I’d do it; I’d give the infamous “Goat Sucker” the limelight. Alas, I opted to ax it for reasons that I can’t remember. So, I pushed it up this year, where it became the fourth “purge survivor” when Decemystery 2024’s schedule was shaken up.

However, let’s remain focused. After six years, Limitless Possibilities will finally take a look at one of the most iconic cryptids and legends on Earth; pack your bags and get your passport because today’s Decemystery entry is The Hawaiian Chupacabra, a story that redefines the term “trouble in paradise” in the most mesmerizingly crazy way possible!

Decemystery (2024) 19: An Encounter with the Easter Bunny

 

If there’s one holiday I have virtually no memories of, it’s Easter. Despite being Roman Catholic, it’s a day where I only recall two things: looking for plastic eggs that had money in them (thanks, Grandpa!) and coloring eggs. I thoroughly enjoyed both, but I preferred the former because money meant I could buy toys from vending machines. I was a simple child who has grown into a not-so-simple man.

As for coloring eggs, I enjoyed that, too. It was fun sitting around dipping them into paint and whatnot. Then again, hanging out with my family was always great. It’s too bad the younger me couldn’t appreciate that as much.

Despite those memories, I have no recollection of ever believing in the Easter Bunny. While I’m sure I did, I never thought about him the same way I did Santa Claus or even the Headless Horseman.

Instead, I viewed him as a sign that I should try to pester my mom into buying me a chocolate bunny. I’d say that I would eat it, but I never did because I’m not much of a chocolate person. I think my sister did, though. I can’t remember.

Funnily enough, I think I was later gifted a novelty-sized chocolate bunny. I took one look at it and felt sick. I have no idea if anyone ever finished it. If they did, I pity their stomach.

Anyway, enough background on my. The point I’m making is that my history with Easter isn’t exactly special or fantastical. It’s relatively mundane and par for the course when it comes to a middle-American guy who grew up in a state that would tax breathing if it could.

However, I attribute that monotony to my immediate interest in today’s Decemystery entry. Sure, the title alone is eye-catching, but I’ve always had a fascination with holiday-themed mysteries. They have a little bit of extra flavor that makes them more appealing.

And in the case of today’s story—which I call An Encounter with the Easter Bunny—it has enough flavor to last a lifetime. The idea of meeting a holiday mascot is something I’ve entertained covering before; I’ve come across reports from people who claim they’ve met Santa. However, I’d rather save those stories for a year when I’m actively writing from the start of it and not the middle of the summer.

Still, this sounds like a whimsical time. So, come along; let’s go Easter Egg hunting. I call dibs on the eggs that have money!

Decemystery (2024) 18: One Man’s Conversation with a Cat

 

This write-up is dedicated to a very dear friend of mine. You know who you are!

Once upon a time, I was a bright-eyed, idealistic guy who had dreams and aspirations. Then, the tsunami called “life” came along and washed them all away. This is why I now vehemently dislike idealism and believe that people are better off learning early on that the world’s a rough place and viewed the same way you’d view a lion—terrifying.

Lucky for me, the one thing that the tsunami didn’t sweep away was my optimism. I’ve always maintained a fair amount of it, and I’ve made sure never to lose it. It’s an important piece of my younger self that I cling to for dear life.

That said, for a while, my optimism was really close to evaporating when it came to my writing. The reason for that? Well, when I looked at my family—be they immediate or extended—I often looked at myself and questioned what road I took a detour on.

For context, my family has a history in the military and law (be it law enforcement or lawyering). To call me a black sheep would be quite an understatement; I’m about as far detached from them when it comes to careers and jobs as you can get. Whereas they took up noble occupations, I’m sitting on my bed writing about how people saw a giant spider on the moon.

This, in turn, would make me feel vastly inferior to them. I suppose that’s a given; I’m writing about some of the weirdest stuff I find while combing the Internet. I’m not exactly Robert Kardashian, but I still wished I had more to show for my life than a blog that people visit on occasion.

Lucky for me, in recent times, I’ve come to embrace that black sheep status. My family has supported me, and they love that I’ve pursued a more niche and obtuse path in life than following in the footsteps of everyone else. So, all’s well and good.

Now, what does any of this have to do with today’s story? Well, as we draw ever closer to the end of Decemystery, I want the stories to get weirder; I want them to become so brain-meltingly absurd that you’ll take a look at the title and go, “Oh, Vertigo made this up.” But, deep down, you’ll know I didn’t.

I feel like if I’m going to embrace the topics I’ve fallen in love with, I need to make the second half of this month near-total chaos; I need this Decemystery to end off on a note so crazy that every day will be akin to the wildest roller coaster imaginable! So, to begin that, let’s talk about One Man’s Conversation with a Cat.