Decemystery (2023) 9: The Mexican Tongue Monster

“Now I’ve heard it all.”

These are five words I’ve thought and said to myself many times in my life. Yet, every time I listen to a video centered on unsolved mysteries, cryptozoology, or paranormal events, I’m proven wrong. I had not, in fact, heard it all. In fact, I wasn’t even close.

Today’s story is a prime example of that truth; you think there’s no way for life to surprise you anymore, but then it throws a curveball. The Mexican Tongue Monster is a story that, by all accounts, sounds like the nickname for an exotic Mexican dish. However, that isn’t the case. It’s a cryptid, and it embodies everything I love about unorthodox naming conventions.

Decemystery (2023) 1: That Time a Dog Was Seen Eating Cereal with a Spoon

 

Well, hello there, dear reader! Welcome back to my blog, which is now officially back in business and primed for a month of mysteries and oddness! Indeed, if you read the previous post, you’ll know that there are two concurrent Decemysterys going on. One is for last year (since I was out of commission for almost all of 2022), while the other is for this year. If you didn’t read the post that’s below this one, then, well, you know that now!

This, as you can plainly see, is the inaugural entry for this year! It’s a story that I recall seeing a few years ago and actually really enjoyed reading. However, it wasn’t until this year that I dug a bit more into it and decided it could be worth writing about for a little bit of fun. Besides, it features a dog, and I love dogs. I own a dog! He’s the best boy.

Anyway, without further delay (since I did most of the talking in the post before this one), let’s begin the second Decemystery with a story that exemplifies the term “High Strangeness.” It’s the story of That Time a Dog Was Seen Eating Cereal with a Spoon, and it—as stated above—went viral a few years back. So come along, dear reader; it’s time for yet another round of the oddest tales from around the world. Decemystery 2023 begins now!

Mystery: La Llorona

 

This story is dedicated to my dear friend Fatima. Thanks for being who you are; I hope to remain your friend for as long as God permits it.

Witches cackle, spectres sneak by you in the dead of night, the Headless Horseman lets loose a maniacal laugh, and the dead rise from their grave to dance beneath the Moon’s pale light. It’s that time of the year again: Halloween.

On this special night, we find ourselves snuggled up inside thanks to a terrifying pandemic—though I’m sure some of the ballsier folks are out trick-or-treating. If you are, do stay safe and make sure to social distance by at least six ghouls. For the rest of us, let’s flick the lights off and sit in a circle as we go over some ideas I had in mind before getting to the main story itself.

The first story I had in mind was that of the Zodiac killer. I found myself unwilling to dedicate that much time to covering him just yet. It also didn’t help that my friend Jif ended up covering him for his YouTube channel—the Debunk File—so I instead opted to cover Jack the Ripper. I’m quite proud of the end result actually, so go check it out. Mine that is. You can check out Jif’s video later.

The next story I had was the Butcher of Mons, another serial killer who lives up to his name. He dismembered his victims with terrifying skill. This story was the one that fit the idea of Halloween the best and it was one that I was eager to cover. Heck, it was once on the shortlist for this year’s Decemystery. However, thanks to the story being a bit on the complex side—along with me having covered a serial killer last year for Halloween—I opted to put it off until sometime next year. Well, at least I hope to cover it next year. Don’t hold me to that, you and I both know how awful I am with schedules.

The second idea I had was one of my personal favorites: Programmed to Kill. A conspiracy theory centering on the idea that the CIA and other Deep State ghouls “program” serial killers to, well, kill, this theory has been on my to-do list for a long time now and I simply haven’t had the time to go through all 300+ episodes of the YouTube series. I hope to get to it before 2023 though (yes, I like to look ahead in the way of what I want to write about—fight me). If I don’t get to it by then, you can rightfully scold me.

The third and final idea was that of Die Glocke. Never heard of it? Well, I’ve got three words for you: time traveling Nazis. This story was extremely close to being the Halloween story, but I simply didn’t find it to be all that scary. Sure, Nazis are quite scary, what with their incredible military strength and genocide under their belt. Though the idea of a time traveling device that sent someone back in time to potentially have crashed in Kecksburg, Pennsylvania didn’t exactly scream “Halloween” to me. So I put it off for a short while.

After that, I was left adrift without a story for Halloween. I contemplated covering the Hinterkaifeck Murders, but ultimately found myself unmotivated to tackle something so morbid—not to mention something where the information felt very muddled beneath legends, rumors, and hearsay. I also had the idea for the Villisca Axe Murders, but that’s a story I would rather pair with Hinterkaifeck due to their close relation. So yet again, I tossed it aside for sometime in the future. Not long after I did that, I was outright contemplating doing nothing for Halloween other than remaining indoors until the Ghost Adventures Halloween special was ready. Then I realize that was scheduled for October 29th, so I was left defeated by the power of television airdates.

So, after some time of wallowing in self pity, I came up with an idea; one that I got from a little friend of mine had reminded me of a certain legend from Mexico not too long ago. It’s an extremely famous one that found its way into the universe of the incredibly successful Conjuring series. So, for this year’s festive write-up, let us take a look at the infamous La Llorona. If you’re unfamiliar with this tale, you likely know it as the “Weeping Woman”. I think it fits perfectly with the theme and feeling of Halloween. So let’s get paranormal, dear reader, and see if there is any truth to this legendary legend—redundancy be damned.