Decemystery (2022.3) 2: The Elizaville Monster (AKA: Tall, Dark, & Gruesome)

 

There’s nothing I dislike about writing more than introductions. This disliking extends to talking, too; I’m terrible at initiating a conversation unless I absolutely know what I want to say to someone. But when it comes to writing, I never exactly know what will get someone’s attention since my writing style is very similar to how I talk. In fact, when I write, I do so in a manner where I envision myself outright talking to someone. So I never feel like I’m “comfortable” (for lack of a better word) until I’m actually talking about whatever the main focus of the write-up is about.

As such, there are times when I sometimes just wonder if I should simply do away with these introductions and instead jump right into the main story. Alas, I don’t like change, and to be honest, when I do find some footing with the introduction, I feel like it adds something to the overall write-up. It all comes together to form a nice, delightful story of strange/mysterious/Fortean goodness.

However, with today’s write-up, I must concede that I don’t think any introduction could quite prepare anyone for what’s to come. No, it isn’t gory (though there is some pretty gnarly stuff), nor is it shocking. Rather, it’s the name of the story—which I have a good feeling you chose to read because of that name.

With a name like the Elizaville Monster, I feel one would be likely to assume it’s another Bigfoot-type monster. There are more of those said to be in the United States than there are butthurt football fans any given Sunday.

However, this thing’s second name is what drew me in. You see, this thing is also known as Tall, Dark, & Gruesome. With a name like that, I must admit that there was absolutely no way that I wouldn’t pass up the chance to cover this. I mean, that name is just glorious. Even if this had absolutely nothing on it and was brought up once on 4chan, I would still cover it. As luck would have it, the story itself is pretty interesting and has more than just a few sentences on some niche Wiki.

So come along, dear reader, let’s take a gander at one of Indiana’s strangest murderous paranormal cryptids! Good God, I think that sentence is a crime against literature. I love it.

Decemystery (2021) 30: Los Angeles John & Jane Doe (1921–1951)

 

Let’s be honest for a moment: teenagers do some really stupid things. There is absolutely no denying that—it’s kind of a part of being a teen (in my eyes at least). I mean, I did some stupid things. I rebelled against my parents, I acted like I knew everything there was to know, and I thought I could do and say anything I desired without consequences.

That, naturally, backfired, and I learned a lot of harsh lessons.

Lucky for me though, I’ve since learned my lesson (for the most part) and have become a better person. Well, I’ve at least attempted to become a better one. I sure as heck am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and am still a deeply flawed human being, but I no longer try to pick fights with hornets and light fires inside my own home.

Yes, I actually did the latter one. Admittedly, I did that as a pre-teen, but I thought that fire wouldn’t burn as fast as it actually does.

Err, well, anyways: all of that brings us to today’s story. Teenage tomfoolery/stupidity is the name of the game for today. You see, the Los Angeles John & Jane Doe both made a big oopsy daisy and now have remained unidentified for upwards of a century. Let’s find out why.

Decemystery (2021) 28: The Red Devil-Bat of Chester

Bats are not exactly the most appealing creatures on the planet—in my opinion at least. They’re prone to carrying diseases, they look really creepy, and one once got stuck in my chimney and made a racket because it couldn’t get out. Though hey, some folks like them. To each their own, right? Right.

Anyways, let’s get right down to business. Today’s story will bring us a new kind of bat. It’s called the Red Devil-Bat of Chester (heck of a name), and it lives up to its name. Besides being a devilish creature that scared the bejeezus out of those who saw it, it was also red and from Chester. So let’s get this hellish story on the road!

Decemystery (2020) 22: The Dade City Flower Alien Encounter

 

The Dade City Flowers? Sounds like a flora shop…

Wait, what? They’re aliens? That’s ridiculous! Complete and total tomfoolery, I refuse to cover this story.

Oh, wait, Dade City is in Florida. Never mind, it makes perfect sense. Alright, let’s see if we can get to the bottom of this.

Decemystery (2020) 4: Carroll A. Deering

 

This story is dedicated to my dear friend Katie.

How goes it, dearest of readers? Today’s a very special day—it’s the annual Decemystery maritime mystery. Indeed, we’re headed to the high seas to bear witness to what the grandiose waters that make up the vast majority of our planet have in store for us. You know, besides rogue waves, tsunamis, sharks, the Kraken/Sidney Powell, and a lot of salt.

Indeed, the sea has a lot of things that you can find and enjoy. Though nothing quite says “December” and “sea” here on Limitless Possibilities like “ship without a crew”. It’s become a tradition and that tradition must remain if we’re to survive in the harsh reality known as, well, reality! It’s the law of the land—at least it is in my eyes.

Originally, I was going to cover the U.S.S. Cyclops—one of the many ships lost in what’s known as the Bermuda Triangle. However, I opted to save that for some time in the future when I decide to cover that megalithic mystery. It was then that I realized that I’d have to to scour the Internet for something equally as fascinating, and that was no easy task. There was The Kaz II that seemed alluring, but it didn’t quite fit the bill. It was then that I contemplated bringing back the Cyclops, but not before doing one last sweep for a story.

And by “one last sweep”, I mean just browse some lists and hope for the best. Look, I’m not exactly Sherlock Holmes when it comes to looking for things, I’m a 24-year-old guy who sits in his bedroom and writes while pretending that he has a readerbase and that he can one day make it in this world. If you want to judge me for my lack of credentials, I would kindly direct you to the comments section (which I’m always open to feedback as a little FYI).

Ahem, well, anyways: as luck would have it, I did manage to find a story; the story of the ship known as the Carroll A. Deering. While not as widely talked about as the Cyclops (at least in my eyes), it’s as simple as it is strange. So let’s head back in time to discuss a North American maritime mystery once more.

Decemystery (2020) 3: London After Midnight

 

Hello, hello dearest dear reader. Today is a very unique, special, and exciting day. You see, today is a day unlike any other. We won’t be taking a trip to see if we can solve an unsolved crime, identify an unidentified person, seek out an enigmatic cryptid, solve a legendary haunting, or see what will happen after the Universe meets Death. No, we’ll be headed over to Hollywood. So come along, let’s get into the Little Bastard and crash into the first lamppost we see.

Okay, so one unaffordable hospital bill later, we’re just going to walk there. So come, let’s go from New York to Hollywood. Don’t worry, it’s for a good cause. What do you mean your legs hurt? Come on, let’s go! Ugh, fine, we’ll just take a plane there.

Well, one flight later and a whole lot of Xanax later, we’ve arrived. Ah, Hollywood. It’s a place of filth, degeneracy, magic, and Andy Dick. Man that guy’s a dick. Seriously, ever heard the stories of him? He’s a weirdo. Anyways, since we’re here, I’ve got something for you. I brought along two magnifying glasses, two detective hats, a pipe, and some 1800s clothing. You see, we’re going to play the role of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. Indeed, we’re going to be real detectives. Though why? We’ll be detectives this entire month! What makes this day so much more special?

Simple: we’re going to be looking for a lost film—arguably the most famous in history. It’s coveted, sought after my many, and today, we’re going to talk about it. It’s known as London After Midnight and it’s beyond legendary when it comes to fans of classic horror. Seriously, if there was ever a Holy Grail of lost horror films, let alone lost films in general, this film would take the gold medal by default. So come along dear reader, we’re headed into Hollywood to seek out this legendary piece of cinema together!

Mystery: The Black Dahlia. A Tragedy Turned Mythical

The Case of the Black Dahlia, A Tragedy Turned Mythical

Here’s a simple question: how does someone solve a crime? “Evidence,” you say, “you need evidence to solve a crime.” You look for motive, a weapon, things left by the perpetrator. You learn about the victim if someone died. You check with people who knew the victim, people last seen with the victim, the whole nine yards. You start with a large group of suspects and narrow it down, sometimes you find the right person, sometimes not. Sometimes you missed something, sometimes very little could be done. 

Okay, now think about the many infamous American crimes, OJ Simpson, the Zodiac, Lizzie Borden. There are misconceptions of course but it’s not hard to find out what the evidence was. In the case of Borden: a young woman’s father and step mother were brutally murdered with an ax, said woman had a negative relationship with the two and there were some issues involving inheritance. The primary suspect was the daughter, who after a long trial was found innocent but doubt still lingers. Also something something lesbian conspiracy theory, an idea that will come up later, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves now.  

OJ: a famous football player’s wife is brutally murdered along with another man she was seeing. Said player was known to be aggressive and had previously beaten her. There is a bloody glove, a car chase, and a lack of other suspects. There is a long drawn out trial where the prime suspect is found innocent but doubt lingers.  

Zodiac: a man goes around San Francisco and neighboring areas, shooting and stabbing various people while sending cryptic messages and puzzles. Many people are suspected but nobody is found guilty and the crime spree stops by the 1970s. These statements are all broadly speaking, true. All of these crimes are technically unsolved, although with Borden and OJ many people strongly believe the courts got it wrong.  

Now finally we have what is arguably the most famous unsolved murder in US history, or at least the most famous unsolved Los Angeles murder. A beautiful girl who is an up and coming actress, brutally tortured and murdered. She is found cut in half in a vacant lot. It later comes out that she was promiscuous, perhaps even a lady of the night. The prime suspect is a creepy doctor obsessed with a surrealist artist who is a suspect in several other murders. He is almost arrested, but flees to another country never to return. The press nicknames this poor soul the Black Dahlia and it passes into legend as what fate awaits young aspiring stars.  

There is just one problem, unlike the other summaries, almost everything I just said is bullshit. Unlike many famous criminal cases, like Jack the Ripper, the objective truth is fairly difficult to obtain. Odds are, your understanding of the Dahlia case is wrong in some form. It’s not your fault, the facts started to become blurry not long after her tragic death. With each retelling the truth becomes hazier. By now the woman who was once named Elizabeth Short has more in common with Elizabeth Bathory then Nicole Brown Simpson. Less a human, more a legend. Her case is still open to this day, staffed by LAPD officers who were born years after the murder took place.  

There has never been a good book written about the subject. There has never been an accurate movie. There has never been a truthful television show. There has never been a fully honest video game. Every secondary source you can obtain is flawed, which makes researching this crime, especially if you don’t live in the LA area, incredibly difficult. I can’t claim to know all the facts and I’m sure I made some mistakes. With all that said, tonight let’s talk about the tale of Elizabeth Short, at least to the best of my knowledge.

Preface: almost all of the information in this post comes from former LA Times writer Larry Harnisch. He is the foremost expert on the history of LA and the Black Dahlia case. He has been writing a book on the subject for almost 20 years. If he is reading this, God bless your heart Larry, you are a great writer. I pray that book comes out soon. Here is a link to his old site. Here’s one to his current site.

A photo of Larry Harnisch. From Tyler and I, thank you for your assistance and kindness. It means the world to us!

Decemystery (2019) 2: The Awful

Due to a lack of sketches, I'm forced to use a generic image of a gryphon.

I was a bit torn on whether I should really dedicate an entry to this alleged beast or not. At first glance, it may seem like something that could be seen as something like a Thunderbird. Apply any sort of analytical eye however and all signs will immediately point towards a fabrication or—if you want to be optimistic—an urban legend. However, I want to cover it both as a jab at a friend of mine (hi, Jim!) and because it’s something quicker to write. I did have plans to cover other gryphon-based cryptids, but those are also really short and manage to be even less compelling than the creature that’s known as The Awful. That said, let’s begin.

Mystery: The Saint Valentine's Day Massacre

Valentine’s Day has often been referred to as a “Hallmark holiday”. A day when people have excuses to either make candy bracelets, buy schmaltzy cards, or bouquets of roses for their significant other. Suffice to say, I’m not a fan of the holiday, but to each their own.

That said, there is another side to this oh-so beloved (and loathed) holiday that I do happen to love. It’s a day that lives on in infamy and legend in Chicago. A time when law didn’t rule, but rather crime did. It’s an event known only as the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre and today marks the 90th anniversary of what is often called the most legendary Mob hit job. So let’s dive into this story and both learn about it and the theories as to who the hitmen were.