Decemystery (2024) 29: The Red-Furred... Thing

Some of you may be wondering what’s up with that header image. Well, allow me to explain it to you, dear reader.

I want everyone to know that I am writing this roughly 14 hours after the previous write-up. If you didn’t read that unhinged diatribe of mayhem and joy, I spent 15 hours on the road yesterday and wrote the article over the span of a mere 3 hours.

I thought that I would pass out the second I was done. I was wrong. I was awake until 1:30 in the morning; I was up for 23 and a half hours because I was riding a bipolar-induced high from the frenetic writing I did (which I mentioned in the conclusion of the write-up).

Thankfully, melatonin was there to save the day—albeit less than I usually take. That’s likely why I went to bed later than I should have, but oh well. It took a while, but I did sleep for nine hours. It was nice and comfy underneath my blanket. It was less nice and comfy in my borderline fever-dream-infested mind.

It was even less nice when I woke up.

Holy crap, I woke up with the worst headache imaginable. It felt like a gorilla was using my head as a punching bag. I have no idea if I caught something over the holidays or if it’s just the lack of proper sleep, but it feels like Death took a holiday in my skull.

Normally, that would be grounds for not writing and instead resting so I get better. However, as my friends will tell you, I do not understand the concept of “getting proper rest” when I am sick. Why is that? Because I get highly irritable and restless when I am not doing something.

That means it’s time for “Physically Unwell Storytime with Vertigo,” presented by a bottle of Tylenol. So, what’s today’s story? What do I, a man who feels like utter trash, have in store for you, dear reader?

Something that gives me a headache on its own.

This case was on the cusp of being axed because I simply wasn’t sure if I felt like covering another cryptid case. But then I realized that might be a good way to exert the frustration I’m feeling from the headache. So, come along; take a seat outside of my plastic bubble while I tell you about The Red-Furred… Thing.

What, is that an abrupt lead-in to the write-up? So is a rapid-onset of post-Christmas sickness.

Decemystery (2024) 24: The Hopping Creature of Gardnerville

 

It’s Christmas Eve, the night before the happiest, jolliest, most wondrous time of the year. I wonder what I’ll be doing that day. I hope it’s nothing stressful!

Anyway, if you read the write-up on “The Day the Earth Screamed” the other day, you’d know that I said that I had “easier stories” to fall back on if I needed to switch up the schedule for this month if it came to that. Lo and behold, yes, it did; today’s story wasn’t intended to be covered. I had another alien account in mind, but I’m at the point where I want to be done with writing so I can stop treating clocks and calendars with the same level of fear that I’d treat being cornered by a pit bull.

Because I want simple stuff, I went over to About, my favorite defunct online repertoire of stories; the despair I feel whenever I’m reminded of that is enough to turn me into a Sock and Buskin mask. God, I need to find more websites like it.

Oh well, I can do that when I’m not racing against the clock. So, what’s today’s impromptu tale of strangeness? Well, honestly, I don’t really know. It’s one that I picked out at pure random and went with because the title was interesting to me.

No, really, that was why I went with it. I’ve mentioned in the past—but I don’t think recently—that I’ve covered some stories because of their name. Even if I haven’t read the case, I’ve gone ahead and said, “I want to cover that,” to myself. This has backfired on more than several occasions, but since when have I ever learned my lesson? I’ve done Decemystery since 2018 (2022 doesn’t count) and have yet to learn how to temper my workload.

I digress, though; today’s mystery takes us over to Nevada, a state that—strangely enough—has yet to be featured on this blog outside of a write-up from 2019 where I (haphazardly) covered the theories surrounding Stephen Paddock, the man who perpetrated the 2017 Las Vegas Massacre.

However, when it comes to cryptids or UFOs, Nevada has been noticeably absent. It’s been mentioned numerous times, thanks to Area 51, but it’s somehow slipped through the cracks otherwise.

No longer, though! Today, we’ll be discussing something that I call The Hopping Creature of Gardnerville. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head on over to one of the United States’ most culturally notorious states, a place that has become synonymous with gold, gambling, and oh-so-many more salacious things. Strap in because the land of Sin City is finally getting the spotlight shone on it!

Decemystery (2024) 20: The Hawaiian Chupacabra

 

“Legendary.”

That’s the first word that comes to mind when I think of El Chupacabra. It’s one of the most widely recognizable cryptids on Earth, having achieved the same level of notoriety as some of the biggest names in cryptozoology (like Sasquatch and The Loch Ness Monster).

Despite that level of fame, the Chupacabra is something that I’ve overlooked for this blog’s entire life. Sure, I’ve brought it up periodically and have discussed it from time to time. However, in the way of it ever being at the forefront of any write-up that I’ve done, that has never happened.

The closest the Chupacabra has ever gotten to being front and center was last year when I talked about “The Mexican Tongue Monster,” but I neglected it because, at the time, the creature in that story didn’t resemble any known depiction of the iconic cryptid that I knew of. Not only that, but the title didn’t even mention the Chupacabra, which I find bizarre in hindsight. Also, this write-up and that one started the same way, with a quote from me. How fitting.

Anyway, there’s a reason I haven’t fixated on the Chupacabra yet. Simply put, I don’t think I can add anything to the story that hasn’t already been said. Like the aforementioned Sasquatch and Loch Ness Monster, there are countless television shows, specials, articles, books, videos, and podcasts that have covered the Chupacabra. What could I say that would be new or exciting?

I’m sure there’s someone out there who would argue that every voice is unique. However, in my eyes, the Chupacabra’s been covered to the point that it now resembles one of its victims. It’s hollow; there’s nothing left inside of it…

Or is there?

The Chupacabra holds a unique distinction. Given the creature’s notoriety around the planet, it’s been blamed for cattle mutilations outside of where the legend spawned from (which was Puerto Rico). Much like a virus, it spread; it was sighted in the Southern United States, Mexico, and much of Latin America, and it was blamed for leaving countless dead farm animals in its wake.

In the decades since then, some believe the Chupacabra has found its way to other continents, with some—be it jokingly or seriously—claiming that if their livestock is killed, it was the work of the vampiric cryptid. Skeptics often dismiss these reports as the work of feral dogs or some other predatory animal.

However, some reports are more enigmatic and not as easily explainable, at least in my eyes. There are countless reports that simply don’t add up in my eyes.

To offer you all an example, I have a friend from New Zealand who lived on a farm. One morning, she and her family found some sheep slaughtered. She’s a trained veterinarian and told me there was no animal that could’ve done whatever did this. The organs had been removed, and the sheep had been burned. Additionally, one had its fetus removed.

Her opinion was that it was either extraterrestrials or the Chupacabra. Honestly? I’m inclined to believe her. I thought that back in 2019 when she first told me the story, and I think that now in 2024.

As graphic and unpleasant as it may be to read that, I brought it up for one very important reason—aside from using it as an example. It was what ultimately motivated me to cover a story about the Chupacabra, so I decided that I’d finally discuss the prolific cryptid on this blog at long last.

However, that motivation would quickly flicker out. Due to mental health struggles and a plethora of other stories that I wanted to cover, covering a case featuring the Chupacabra got put on the back burner for quite some time.

It wasn’t until last year that I finally decided that I’d do it; I’d give the infamous “Goat Sucker” the limelight. Alas, I opted to ax it for reasons that I can’t remember. So, I pushed it up this year, where it became the fourth “purge survivor” when Decemystery 2024’s schedule was shaken up.

However, let’s remain focused. After six years, Limitless Possibilities will finally take a look at one of the most iconic cryptids and legends on Earth; pack your bags and get your passport because today’s Decemystery entry is The Hawaiian Chupacabra, a story that redefines the term “trouble in paradise” in the most mesmerizingly crazy way possible!

Decemystery (2024) 8: The McDonald's Blob

 

When I started this blog, I had zero intention of covering unsolved mysteries. Absolutely none. That was a spur-of-the-moment thing I did for reasons I don’t even remember. The inaugural Decemystery back in 2018 was something I vaguely recall doing for the heck of it; the exact reasoning is now in and of itself a mystery. If I did mention it at any point, it’s been lost amidst the sea of other stories I’ve covered—and I dislike the original Decemystery because of its poor quality.

This impromptu decision to write about a mystery a day eventually led me to slowly but surely amass a backlog of over 5,000 mysteries I’d like to cover. I’m unsure if I’ll write about them on this blog. It’s more likely that I’ll write a series of books where I cover them, but that’s a story for another time in the far distant future. For now, let’s get back on track.

While I have fleeting memories of Decemystery 2018, most of them are of no importance and amount to little more than me typing away haphazardly without much thought about what I was doing. I believe there were a few times I considered abandoning the project, but I thought that wasn’t worth it. Besides, I thought it’d be cool if I completed it—and I did!

That said, while I view the quality as poor nowadays, I recall wanting to do Decemystery again in 2019. Except, then I didn’t; I canceled it. Then, like an indecisive buffoon, I uncanceled it.

Once again, I can’t remember the events that led to the cancellation because I deleted the blog post. I’m sure there was some reason related to mental health or time constraints, but it matters not because I managed to complete it without missing a day.

That brings me to the point of this retrospective intro. Whenever I reflect upon the evolution of this blog, there’s something that stands out to me—namely, the aforementioned Decemystery 2019.

Indeed, the Decemystery that nearly got thrown out the window is arguably the most pivotal moment in the blog’s history. Why? Well, it was the Decemystery where I opted to broaden the stories I covered. I didn’t stick to normal unsolved mysteries; I began including entries from the “Conspiracy Iceberg,” an iceberg chart that has a plethora of conspiracy theories on it.

This can be seen right out of the gate. The inaugural entry of Decemystery 2019 was “Golf Rumors,” a popular Conspiracy Iceberg entry that has more variants than I care to count. I also went over four other stories that month: Cameraheads (which has since been solved as it was a piece of lost media), The Patterson-Gimlin Massacre (which I want to rewrite), “Is Lord of the Rings Based on a True Story?” (again, I want to rewrite that one), and Project Blue Beam.

Adding on to that, I also covered the 2006 Volleyball Incident, which I’m pretty sure was going to be a part of Decemystery 2019 but was nixed for reasons that elude me. Look, it’s been five years, and I don’t have a journal. I’m sorry.

So, what does all of this have to do with today? Well, I wanted to make Decemystery 2024 special. I’ve had an arduous year, and I didn’t want to keep going through the archives of About like I didn’t care anymore. So, I figured I’d go through the two Megalists I wrote and find five of the weirdest conspiracy theories to cover.

And boy, oh boy, I succeeded. Believe me when I say that I looked for the weirdest stories; I made sure that they made the five cases we discussed last year look like child’s play.

So, with all of that in mind, I say it’s time that we celebrate not only the wonderful month of December but also celebrate the evolution of this blog throughout the years. And it all begins with the wonderfully weird story of The McDonald’s Blob! Come along, dear reader; let’s see what lurks in the shadows of those iconic golden arches!

Decemystery (2024) 6: The Skinless, Yellow-Eyed Creature of Arizona

 

If there’s one thing I enjoy, it’s a good scary story—be it short or long. I’ve said that before, and I will repeat it as many times as I can because it’s the unvarnished truth. Horror has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember; I attribute it to reading the Goosebumps books as a child; the delightfully creepy tales that R.L. Stine weaved were among my favorites. Heck, I still have fond memories of them. I always have, and dang it, I always will!

My friends, on the other hand, are generally not as keen on the genre. Some of them are, but more than a few have told me that some of the cases I’ve covered creep them out. I don’t see what the big deal is. How can you not enjoy stories of people seeing monstrosities that, if proven to exist, would reshape what we know about Earth?

Okay, perhaps that’s a bad question to ask, especially when we’re discussing my friends, who you likely know nothing about. What I can safely say, though, is that today’s Decemystery entry is one that’s as creepy as it is absolutely bewildering. In other words, it’s the norm for this blog. If you expect anything to be normal, you made a wrong turn on Google, Bing, DuckDuckGo, or whatever search engine you use.

As for the story itself, it comes to us from archives of About—the website that I’m sure I’ll give its own tag because of how frequently I visit it. Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Maybe I’ll do that at some point after I’ve finished this year’s Decemystery (assuming I remember to do it).

Anyway, let’s get to the story. Suffice it to say, the thing that caught my eye was the name, and I have to imagine that you, dear reader, also saw that title and either went, “I’m not reading that,” or “Oh, I’m so reading that.” If you fall into the latter category, then come along; it’s time to head to the American Southwest to investigate the case of The Skinless, Yellow-Eyed Creature of Arizona!

Decemystery (2024) 4: The Triangle Creature

 

If there’s one thing I love about the realm of cryptozoology, it’s that there’s no shortage of weird and inexplicable tales for me to read about. For every relatively normal creature like Bigfoot, there’s a Bagodemon waiting to give me an aneurysm just around the corner.

No, I haven’t recovered from that case a year later.

Anyway, while that metaphorical aneurysm sure as heck drives me nuts at times, I still relish the chaotic nature of cryptozoology and its many oddities. To me, it’s like a comfort zone. I can always count on it to bring me a sense of solace and provide me with something to write about (even if the story is absolute nonsense). So, today, I feel like harkening back to a more classic tale of strangeness.

Today’s story is one that I had intended to cover for one of the Decemysterys last year (I forget which). The exact reason I nixed it also evades me, but I think it’s because I figured I’d be treading similar ground, and I didn’t want to have another write-up that would read like so many others. Funny, I could say the same thing about the numerous UFO stories I covered.

Because it ended up getting nixed, it ended up being a part of Decemystery 2024’s original schedule. Now, if you read the intro to the Nickelodeon Hamster Wheel Broadcast write-up, you may remember that I mentioned that five stories survived the “purge” of that original schedule. I also said that when one of those stories came up, I would mention that. Well, surprise-surprise, this happens to be one of them.

This case is known as The Triangle Creature. Why did it survive? Well, look at that name! How could I not keep it around? Now, enough talk. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head to the Heartland of the United States to discuss one of the greatest-named cryptids out there!

Decemystery (2024) 2: The Gargoyle in the Shrubs

If you read yesterday’s write-up to the then, then I mentioned that I would be revisiting a website called “About.com” this month. Well, I mentioned that because—surprise, surprise—we’re visiting it today!

For those who don’t know, I found out about “About” last year while I was looking for stories on sustained_disgust’s Obscure Unsolved Mysteries Iceberg. The site is now defunct, but a lot of incredibly strange and fascinating stories were archived via the Wayback Machine. I covered a plethora of them last year, and I have every intention of going through even more this year.

While that does mean I won’t get to look for additional details online, I’m not too upset. After the 30,113-word-long behemoth that was Decemystery 2024’s inaugural story, I feel like taking it easy and conveying a short and strange tale of the Fortean is preferable to overexerting myself and suffering from severe burnout. The last thing I desire is to have this series go incomplete because I thought it would be a good idea to force myself to do something I don’t want.

Anyway, let’s get back on track. With an archive that has enough material to sustain me for a year, choosing a story is easier said than done. There were numerous cases that I wanted to cover, but I felt that if I went with the first thing I saw, I would miss out on an even better story on another case. Well, lo and behold, that feeling proved to have merit!

As I was eating dinner one night, snooping around About’s archives, I came across a story entitled “Gargoyle in the Shrubs.” This caught my eye for two reasons. The first was that stories of gargoyles are quite interesting. Reports of them are, for some peculiar reason, not unheard of; I would like to do a lengthier write-up on them, but my mental health has an allergy to them, along with writing prior to the halfway point of the year.

The second is that last year, I wrote about a story called The Gargoyle at the Window, which was also from the depths of About’s archives. So, I figured that it would be fun to cover another story about a gargoyle. Who knows, maybe it’ll become a Decemystery tradition, like covering stories from the Conspiracy Iceberg!

Anyway, enough blabbering; it’s time to get into the story. Come along, dear reader, as we dive into the story of The Gargoyle in the Shrubs! Also, doing intros has become much easier since last year’s Decemystery duology.

Decemystery (2022.3) 30: The Giant Lunar Spider

 

I’ve made it no secret that I am deathly scared of spiders. I cannot stand the sight of them; if I see one—even a small one—I will freak out and ask someone to kill it for me. In spite of that fear, though, I find them fascinating, and as I said earlier this month, stories of giant spiders remain one of my favorite topics to read about. I guess it’s my adoration for horror; being scared is quite fun. Well, it’s fun when the thing that’s doing the scaring isn’t anywhere close to me.

In the case of today’s story, the thing doing the scaring is nowhere close to me—or any of us, for that matter. Rather, it’s on Earth’s closest neighbor, the Moon! So, for the penultimate story of Decemystery 2022.3, we have the otherworldly account of The Giant Lunar Spider! Come along, dear reader, and get ready to experience a whole new level of arachnophobia!

Decemystery (2022.3) 29: The Vampire Caterpillar of Scotland

 

A needless bit of detail: I’m listening to “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith while I write this. A lovely piece of music for a story like this; it’s my specialty to have inappropriate background noise while writing about absolute silliness.

As I have said countless times, I pick some stories solely for the name. It’s just how I operate; I know that plenty of folks gravitate toward eye-catching titles. Trust me; I have friends I talk to—they’re just Internet friends. Nonetheless, if I ask them which story piques their interest more, ones like The Space Penguins of Tuscumbia will be chosen over The Kecksburg UFO Incident nine times out of ten.

Names carry a lot of weight, and that’s one reason I chose today’s story. With a name like The Vampire Caterpillar of Scotland, how could you not want to learn about it? Vampires are awesome, and caterpillars are interesting. Put them together, and you have an unbeatable duo! Right? Well, the only way to find out is to dive into this enigmatic tale of vampirism in the form of a giant creepy crawly! Also, I choked on a piece of a chocolate chip cookie shortly before writing this part. Still listening to Aerosmith, by the way.

Decemystery (2023) 26: Boneless

 

I did say that today would have two stories about giant slugs. I only wish I’d been lying because this one is considerably more horrifying. Oh well, I’d rather delay this; the sooner we’re done with it, the sooner I won’t have this uneasy feeling in my stomach. Strap in, dear reader; this is the story of Boneless!

Decemystery (2023) 21: The Bat Boy of Roswell

I have to say, when I opted to do two concurrent Decemysterys, I had no idea that I’d be working on them into November. I know that sounds absurd; there are 64 write-ups in total, after all. The thing is, I have absolutely no understanding of “foresight.” That means I frequently end up overworking myself and getting exhausted to the point of burnout. Add on a great many inconvenient happenings (not to mention procrastination), and you have a recipe for wanting to curl up and hibernate until, say, next Halloween or so.

Unfortunately, such a thing is not permissible, thanks to my undying desire to see this project through; my own desires for a year-long sleep be damned! There’s writing to be done, and today’s story is one that must be written lest I feel a great level of regret for not covering it. It’s one that caught my attention for one very specific reason—one that I won’t be delving into until the theories section. However, anyone who recognizes the header image likely knows why. For everyone else, just know that it’s because it holds a very special place in my heart.

Now, then, onto the story itself. This month has been chock full of weird, unbelievable stories, and this one is no different. Come along, dear reader; it’s time to head to the southwestern United States to one of the most important locations in UFO lore. Let’s dive into the absolutely glorious case of The Bat Boy of Roswell!

Decemystery (2023) 19: The Gargoyle at the Window

 

Have you ever gotten that feeling you’re being watched? I sometimes do, though it’s that someone is watching and more that there’s a spider looking at me from on the wall. I’ve driven myself into anxiety attacks because I get so paranoid that one is near me. How I achieve such amazing feats of idiocy, I will never know, but I do.

The concept of being watched by something is a core part of today’s story. It was one that caught my eye for two reasons. The first was the title. Aside from sounding interesting, gargoyles are something I’ve not talked about since Decemystery 2018—half a decade ago. I have no idea why it’s taken so long for me to talk about them again, but it has.

The second was the creep factor. There are stories out there that have sent a shiver down my spine, but this one hit a chord few others do. I was listening to a video by Sacrow—whose content is outstanding—and he mentioned how he has an innate fear of being watched through a window. Or, well, something to that effect. I’m in the same boat; I find the idea of being watched through a window or anything like that incredibly scary.

So, as you can tell by the name of today’s story, this is one that evokes a sense of paranoia that I seldom feel. Given I’m writing this a week before Halloween, however, that means I’m all for it. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the story of The Gargoyle at the Window!

Decemystery (2022.3) 19: The Kentucky Horsewalker

 

One of the things I love the most about operating this blog is that I never know what will catch my eye next. Sometimes, I have a story in mind, but then I stumbled across this really crazy or outlandish-sounding cryptid, UFO sighting, or conspiracy theory. Whatever it is, it’s so crazy that I just have to cover it next.

That’s the case with today’s story. It was by pure chance that I came across it; after reading it, I knew right away that I needed to write about it. So come along, dear reader; it’s time to talk about The Kentucky Horsewalker!

Decemystery (2023) 15: The Tuttle Bottoms Monster

When most people hear the word “cryptid,” they likely think of Sasquatch or Nessie. However, there are a plethora more creatures out there than everyone’s favorite hairy hominid and Scottish plesiosaur. Heck, there are more than El Chupacabra and the Burrunjor.

Cryptids are a group whose reputation ranges from the timid to the downright brutal. For every shy apeman, there are beings like The Beast of the Land Between the Lakes, who’s said to have slaughtered an entire family that was camping.

Indeed, cryptids can have quite a homicidal reputation. While that may seem rather outlandish, you would be surprised at just how many are blamed for the deaths of hikers and swimmers. Ol’ Nessie’s very first sighting involved a swimmer who was attacked by the Loch’s resident cryptid. Meanwhile, Pensacola, Florida, has what is now known as “The 1962 Pensacola Sea Serpent Incident.” Hopefully, we’ll cover that in full next year. For now, if you want to know more about it, I briefly covered it in the second Conspiracy Theory Megalist (it’s entry #335).

There are tons and tons of aggressive cryptids out there—far more than I can name. My favorites are the humorously named Sheepsquatch and today’s topic: The Tuttle Bottoms Monster. This fellow is one that I wanted to cover last year, but life dealt me a Dead Man’s Hand and then some.

Luckily, we’re finally getting around to it. So come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head back to Illinois to hunt one of the most bizarre-looking cryptids I’ve ever come across! You won’t want to miss this one because it has everything: government conspiracies and secrets, experiments gone wrong, urban legends, rumors of a cryptid murdering people, and an apeman with an anteater snout.

Decemystery (2022.3) 15: The 20-foot-tall Monster in Montana

Montana is a state that I feel is sorely overlooked when it comes to beauty and mysteries. There are a surprising number of cryptids, ranging from Bigfoot and Wendigo sightings, UFO reports, unsolved murders and disappearances, and the folkloric “Shunka Warak’in,” a hyena-like quadruped whose name translates to “carries off dogs.”

Indeed, there’s a lot that Montana holds; God willing, I’ll cover a few of those stories next year. Until then, today’s story is one of the more fantastical cases from The Treasure State—not to mention one that is more “out there.” I call it The 20-foot-tall Monster in Montana because there’s no other way to put it. So come along, dear reader, let’s explore Big Sky Country together!

Decemystery (2023) 14: The Shrieking Hulk

 

A quick note before we begin: this image has nothing to do with the story, but I thought it was too funny not to use; if anyone knows where it’s from, let me know!

One of my greatest dreams—as of the time of writing—is to go hunting for Bigfoot with a few of my friends. Although I hate the idea of going camping, my love for the legend of Bigfoot outweighs that dislike. As such, I often tell my closest friends how awesome it’d be if we got together and went hunting for the infamous ape-man in what I envision as a fun time out in the wilderness. That, or we go ghost hunting at a place like Waverly Hills Sanitorium. Boy, there’s a place I desperately need to do a write-up on!

Of course, there are a lot of logistical hurdles that would need to be overcome for this dream to be achieved. As it stands, I cannot overcome a single one, so it remains nothing more than a dream that I shall think about until it comes true or I give up on it. Lucky for me, dreams drive me to at least continue pursuing the things that I love—in the case of today’s Decemystery entry, a case about a creature that reminded me a great deal of the aforementioned Bigfoot.

While browsing through the ever-so-amazing About archives, a story caught my eye. At first, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cover it since I didn’t want to poach an ungodly number of cases from the site, especially since I feel that a fair number of them tend to end with me feeling a bit uncertain about what it was. However, the more I thought about this case, the more I was quite confident that I could draw a concrete conclusion. So come along, dear reader; this is the tale of The Shrieking Hulk!

Decemystery (2022.3) 14: The Canadian Spiderbat

 

This write-up is dedicated to my friend, who goes by Jimbo. I hope you enjoy this wonderfully weird story, bud!

The idea of merging two animals into one is one that I must concede is quite amusing. Just imagine if I fused a puffer fish with a turkey or a walrus with a giraffe. Perhaps it’s just me, but I find it rather entertaining. Unfortunately, it isn’t always entertaining; there are those combinations that result in something rather horrific. Today’s story is one of those instances.

After having health issues for the seven thousandth time this year, I was lounging around on my bed doing what I do best: playing Pokémon. Once I realized that I should be preparing to write again, I decided to read. During this reading, I stumbled across the story of The Canadian Spiderbat. With a name like that, I knew I had to write about it right away. So, with a brain that’s still reeling from a week of recovery, let us take a dive into the unknown!

Decemystery (2022.3) 13: The Sabertooth Lion Man

 

When I was young, my favorite prehistoric animal was the sabretoothed cat; it was to the point where I wanted them not to be extinct since I wanted to own one as a pet. I was a stupid kid and had stupid dreams; don’t judge my meager 6-year-old mind too harshly!

Anyway, despite not wanting to own one anymore on account of my desire to still have limbs (and a head—that’s also important), I still think Smilodon is awesome. In fact, I still kind of hope it’s survived since I think it’d be awesome to see one in person. I may not want to own one as a pet anymore, but I’m still filled with idiotic dreams and desires, like seeing a creature in person that could rip my head off like it was made of paper.

My moronic yearnings aside, today’s Decemystery entry is one that caught my eye for a few reasons, not the least of which is the inclusion of the word “sabretooth.” Yes, I know that in the actual story, it’s spelled the British way, but I spell it the way I’ve spelled it my whole life. So, without further ado, let’s take a dive into the realm of the unknown once again and talk about The Sabretooth Lion Man!

Decemystery (2023) 11: The Creature at the Cabin Door

 

Oh, hey there. Welcome back to my blog; please make yourself comfortable near the campfire. Help yourself to some marshmallows, too. I don’t like them, to be quite honest; I never have. But I bought them because that’s what people do when camping, I think. Truthfully, I have never gone camping.

Anyway, enough with the silly roleplaying. I needed something to kickstart this write-up since, even though this is the thirty-ninth Decemystery I’m doing, introductions have gotten no easier. In fact, ever since I returned to writing at the start of the year, I’d dare say they’ve only gotten harder.

My bemoaning aside, I want to return to a website we visited the other day: “About,” the one that hosted the story of the Mexican Tongue Monster. I mentioned that it appeared to be a treasure trove that I would need to pilfer. Well, a few months after covering that story, I decided to return and snoop around. I was right; it’s a host to a lot of wild, jaw-dropping stories. So, in the coming days, we’ll be returning to it a lot.

The first I want to take a look at is entitled The Creature at the Cabin Door. This sounds like something akin to a generic creepypasta, but it’s a truly unsettling and bizarre story from the forests of New York. So come along; it’s time to go camping in the Adirondack Mountains!

Decemystery (2023) 9: The Mexican Tongue Monster

“Now I’ve heard it all.”

These are five words I’ve thought and said to myself many times in my life. Yet, every time I listen to a video centered on unsolved mysteries, cryptozoology, or paranormal events, I’m proven wrong. I had not, in fact, heard it all. In fact, I wasn’t even close.

Today’s story is a prime example of that truth; you think there’s no way for life to surprise you anymore, but then it throws a curveball. The Mexican Tongue Monster is a story that, by all accounts, sounds like the nickname for an exotic Mexican dish. However, that isn’t the case. It’s a cryptid, and it embodies everything I love about unorthodox naming conventions.