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Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Decemystery (2020) 30: The Mariana Trench Bone Pit


When I wrote about the Mariana Trench Sea Serpent, I said that I hoped to get to this story next year. Well, I decided against that and have instead opted to cover it now. So let’s head back to the world famous deepest known part of the ocean and talk about the Mariana Trench Bone Pit.

The Story

First things first, Imma say all the words inside my head: Fragrance. Opalescence. Linguistic. Legislature. Ordnance. Warden. Totalitarian. Hedonistic. Insubordination. Seraphim. Beretta. Luminescence. Origination. Galvanization.

Second things second: there are in fact bones down in the Mariana Trench. However, these are whale bones and they aren’t what we’re here to talk about. Sorry, folks.

Third things third: this story is not an excuse to mimic Believer, but actually has a real point to it. Well, kind of. Our story is from the Conspiracy Iceberg, which means that we have to take about a thousand tons of salt with every word it says. Lucky for you, Limitless Possibilities is nothing if not filled to its brim with salt. Take some as a souvenir!

Oh yeah, the story. Well, there isn’t really a “story”. Rather, there is a “claim”. One that is so simplistic, it could really go with a movie. Oh wait, kinda did with that movie Underwater. That doesn’t count!

Whatever, this claim is that there is a gigantic pile of bones at the bottom of the Mariana Trench—specifically in the Challenger Deep. These bones were supposedly discovered back in 1960 when a bathyscaphe went down to the aforementioned Challenger Deep.

Where exactly these bones came from and who— or what—placed them there is something I cannot provide even a theory for. This story is so barebones, it may as well be the bone pit itself. There’s a singular claim (bones at the bottom of the Mariana Trench) and that’s that.

In spite of that, I attempted to try and find something else. Anything really. Though even the folks on /x/ seem clueless. So I guess we should just get onto what the theories are—or lack of thereof. I opted to make the theories up myself based on what would be the most plausible ideas that 4Chan would likely put forward. Don’t question it, guys, I want this month to be over before I inevitably get COVID-19.


1. A lost civilization

For our first theory, we have the idea that it would be a lost civilization. Think Atlantis, but it’s in the Pacific Ocean.

Stories of lost civilizations aren’t anything new, but I don’t know of any in the Pacific. In spite of that, I thought it would be worth adding this because it seems like something that /x/ would propose. Though exactly why it’d be a bone pit, I don’t know. Okay, so maybe that defeats the entire purpose, but just roll with it. I do my best, dang it!

2. A burial ground

This theory is kind of like the last one, except it posits that it’s a burial ground for an underwater civilization.

Stories of sea-people exist; we’ve kind of seen it with the Ningen. However, I don’t think there are any near, in, or around the Mariana Trench. I would need to check the local legends, but in spite of that: it would stand to reason that a civilization—depending on what age they’re in—would probably think of the Mariana Trench as something mystical, holy, or simply convenient. I mean, it’s ridiculously deep and it isn’t like the Kraken resides down there. The dead would rest in peace (or in pieces if the pressure breaks their bodies enough).

3. Aliens

The third theory is that it was aliens. Once more, this is kind of like the last one, which was like the one before that. We need to go deeper.

Okay, I opted to add this theory because stories of UFOs diving into the ocean are abundant. I want to one day cover some, but it’s really hard to find the time to do so—especially with the hectic nature of life nowadays. Though it isn’t too hard to really put two and two together with this theory. The idea would be that aliens are dropping off dead humans—or they’re humanoid themselves (think back to the intro to the write-up on Greys I did the other day; the Nordic Aliens/Venusians) and they’re burying their dead.

4. It’s made up

The skeptics theory, this one puts forth the idea that it’s nonsense.

I tend to take a skeptical stance with anything I read and given the very fantastical nature of this mystery, I think it goes without saying that my skepticism-o-meter was off the charts. Though even with the weird nature of the story, I couldn’t find anyone who was willing to debunk this story. The closest I could get was the fun factoid that if you were to dive down into the Mariana Trench, your bones would be crushed and flat out obliterated from the gargantuan pressure. Yeah, there’s a lot of water that’d be on top of you. Death by watery snu snu.

My Take

This was almost certainly made up for the Conspiracy Iceberg. The lack of information points to it with a bright neon sign. However, I can’t rule out that the story has been around longer than the Internet. It seems like it’s possible, but I don’t know how plausible it is.

That said, I can’t deny that the notion of human remains in the Mariana Trench isn’t an alluring one. Given the fact the trench is the deepest area in the world—and what with the Challenger Deep being its deepest point, it stands to reason that there would be legends of human remains or underwater civilizations. I think the story of the Mariana Trench Bone Pit is really fascinating and would make for a scary as heck short story (the film Underwater still doesn’t count), but realistically? Nonsensical at best. Laughable at worst.

On one final note: I know that this write-up wasn’t exactly going to break any records on being the most thorough, but I genuinely have struggled in real life and, once more, am too stubborn to give up on this year’s Decemystery. Though I do hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless, even if it’s chaotic and silly.


Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks, I was looking at an iceberg chart and this helped me clarify.