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Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Decemystery (2021) 7: The Jetpack Men of Kazakhstan and Los Angeles

Jetpacks are really fun to think about. You strap ‘em on and with the press of a button, you can take off into the sky and fly around. It’s almost like you’ve got wings, except you need not flap them to keep soaring. Nay, you just hold that button down and rise up. Finally, short people can reach the top shelf at the local Wal-Mart!

In real life, jetpacks do exist, but their usage is rather limited and as far as I’m aware, they aren’t something you can easily purchase. A quick Google search yields that a JB10 Jetpack, made by the Jetpack Aviation Company, costs a staggering $290,000 over here in the United States. Meanwhile, their JB11 Jetpack has a starting price of #340,000. So I guess if you’re filthy rich, you could buy one, but I doubt it’ll come in much use in your day-to-day life.

With that said, jetpacks would have quite a bit of use in the military and certain other fields. After all, having an aerial advantage over your land-restricted enemy would be amazing. Though again, I don’t believe there’s ever been a scenario where a jetpack unit has been deployed into a warzone. Hopefully one day, I can hear about how Delta Force defeated some bad guys while dabbing through the air.

I digress; let’s get to the point. While jetpacks are a reality, but not to the full extent that your favorite piece of entertainment media may showcase, there have been some weird encounters with folks using jetpacks. In fact, there are two stories from two areas—at two separate times in history—involving “Jetpack Men”. So come along, let’s talk about the Jetpack Men of Kazakhstan and Los Angeles.

The Story of the Jetpack Man of Kazakhstan

Today’s story is going to be quite a bit different than usual. These stories, as far as I know, aren’t connected whatsoever. However, I wanted to cover both since they both involve humanoids with what are said to be jetpacks, so I figured it would be pointless to cover them separately. Besides, this one in particular isn’t exactly long, so it isn’t like I’d be tackling two novella-length jetpack-centric tales of weirdness.

So with that said: our first story takes us to the Paranormal-World Wiki. For those unfamiliar, the Paranormal-World Wiki is one of my personal favorite wikis out there; it covers a lot of obscure and enigmatic stuff. In the past, I’ve poached a few stories from there to cover and see if I could expand upon them, but seldom (if ever) can. As such, I wish to credit every bit of research to the writer of the original article. I also seriously recommend you check out the wiki; it’s truly great and has a lot of fantastic articles on a great deal of weird stuff. Additional information was acquired from a few Romanian websites; dezvaluiribiz, vrajitoare-romania, esoterism, and dezvoltarespirituala.

Now onto the actual story. Referred to as “Kazakhstan’s Jetpack Monstrosity” and “The Flying Man of Kazakhstan”, the tale takes place in Pavlodar, Kazakhstan, which is in the northeastern part of the nation. Back in the winter of 1936, a 15-year-old girl by the name of E.E. Loznaya was walking to school when she encountered a mysterious being. Up in the sky, she saw something flying around. It didn’t take long for her to realize that this wasn’t a “thing” though, but a “medium-sized man” who was wearing a black clothing (Paranormal-World specifies said clothes as being “overalls”) and had a black helmet that concealed his face.

What stood out the most though was something that was on his back. It was shaped like an oval and the man was wearing it like a backpack. Unlike your standard backpack that makes little sound when being worn, this one was emitting a faint, rumbling noise (though esoterism states that it was “deafening”). In other words: it was what I liked to pretend my backpack was when I was in school. Good to see that someone achieved my dream 60 years before I was born!

The sight of this strange, flying man was quite enrapturing, but that sensation of awe went out the window when said man changed his course. Faster than you could say “off to the gulag”, the man was headed straight for Loznaya. She desperately looked for somewhere to hide, but given she was walking through a snowbank, there wasn’t anywhere to hide. Bizarrely though, when she looked back up to meet her attacker head-on, she realized that he’d vanished.

That’s where the story, as far as I can tell, ends. One can assume that Loznaya later told her family, friends, and/or law enforcement of her encounter. Though beyond that, it’s hard to tell how this story ever became even somewhat known. Paranormal-World cites the book “Encounters with Flying Humanoids: Mothman, Manbirds, Gargoyles & Other Winged Beasts: Mothman, Manbirds, Gargoyles, and Other Winged Beasts” (yes, that’s how the book is listed on Amazon; click or tap here if you don’t believe me) by Ken Gerhard as their source.

Though beyond that, the only other places I’ve seen this story talked about are the Romanian websites, so I’m guessing this is a very niche tale that could be considered a local legend. That’s nothing abnormal though, not every story makes it big like, say, Mothman, Spring-Heeled Jack, or La Llorona. Still, in my personal opinion, it’s kinda disappointing this one didn’t get big. The idea of someone encountering a guy in a jetpack while en route to school is really neat. I mean, just being asked by your teacher why you were late and you have to tell them that you were attacked by CJ when he was trying to escape a really terrible remaster!

Boy, that’s gonna be dated by the time this gets posted.

Ehh, whatever. My rambling has gone on long enough; let’s get to the theories that surround this story. Tally-ho!


1. It was an alien

Admittedly, the theories for this story are limited to the ones presented in Paranormal-World’s write-up, though they match up with the ones that we’ll see in the next story. For the first one, we have the idea that it was an extraterrestrial who was visiting Earth for some reason. Perhaps it wanted to go sightseeing, or maybe it was monitoring our activity for some benevolent or malevolent purpose.

In the article on the wiki, the writer states that there have been other sightings of entities similar to the Jetpack dude. I’m unaware of any others like this one (or the next story), though I guess if Cryptosporidium is out there and Destroy All Humans! Is low-key based on a true story, maybe this was an alien. Though that’s just me speculating and doing some sort of asinine non sequitur, so let’s get back on topic.

While I may be unfamiliar with other supposed sightings of aliens with jetpacks besides this one and the Los Angeles jetpack man, it would make sense to conclude that a humanoid in a jetpack back in the 1930s is (or rather was) an alien. After all, that technology wasn’t available back then and was more the stuff of science-fiction. That, coupled with the immediate assumption that aliens are far more advanced than we are, and one can conclude that Loznaya had a close encounter of the third kind.

Though is there any evidence to this? Well, as far as I’m aware: no. Obviously, we don’t know if aliens are real or not, but I also am not aware of any other sightings of this specific entity from the area. As far as I can tell, Loznaya was the one and only person who saw anything like this, so we only have her testimony to go off of. So this theory relies heavily on whether or not you believe her—and it’s unlikely she’s even alive, so it’s not like I can somehow get in contact with her and ask if she remembers it. Though I guess I could use a Ouija Board to try and commune with her spirit. Ah well, let’s move on before I pull another non sequitur.

2. It was some other nefarious being

Earlier, I mentioned good old Spring-Heeled Jack. That wasn’t necessarily because I thought of him on my own. Rather, Paranormal-World mentioned him because the author of the article posited that this creature could’ve been utilizing the “same sort of technology” that Jack used during his little reign of mischief.

For those unfamiliar with Spring-Heeled Jack, he was seen during the 1830s in London. He went around tormenting people and was capable of jumping ridiculously high (like he had spring heels on his shoes). It’s a very infamous case and to this day, no one is really certain who—or what—the culprit was (though some think it might’ve been mass hysteria). Still, some think he was a demon, alien, interdimensional being, or someone with access to really advanced technology that let him jump really dang high.

Your mileage may vary very heavily on whether or not you believe this could have been someone—or something—testing out really advanced technology on their own time, especially since it was 1936. Though I’d be lying if I didn’t like the idea of Spring-Heeled Jack evolving into Jetpack Jack.

3. It was some sort of really secret military test

A theory somewhat similar to the idea above, this one simply posits it was a military test instead of some nefarious entity testing out their own personal jetpack. The only new thing this theory brings to the table is why the Soviets wouldn’t have used a jetpack to intimidate the West. Even if it failed, it still could’ve made for great propaganda. Maybe the jetpack got lost? Or maybe the jetpack was a capitalist pig.

4. It was made up

This theory isn’t mentioned on Paranormal-World, but I thought it was necessary to include because it’s one that I think a great number of people who’d hear this story would subscribe to. The entire thing was made up. Maybe Loznaya concocted the story because she was ultimately late to school, or maybe she simply wanted to get some attention from her family, friends, or fellow peers. Given that there were no later sightings of the supposed Jetpack Man, it would stand to reason it never existed. Dun dun duuuun!

My Take

When I initially read this story, the first thing I thought of was that it was a case of misidentification. I was tempted to include that in the theories section, but two things stood in my way (besides no other source bringing it up). The first was that I know absolutely nothing about the avian species that reside in Kazakhstan. The second is I think it’d be rather hard to mistake any sort of bird for a humanoid with what would appear to be a backpack on its back. Sure, if you catch it out of the corner of your eye, your brain may think it’s a person flying since you haven’t gotten a full profile of the creature, but I think seeing it full-on would cause you to realize it’s a bird.

As such, I threw the idea of misidentification out the window. That left me with two ideas: it was an alien or it’s all made-up. I immediately gravitated towards the latter because I can find next to no information on this case and I sadly don’t own the book that Paranormal-World cites as its source. However, the only thing that stops me from cementing my belief that this is all nonsense is that I feel it’d be biased of me to disregard something solely because I can’t truly trace the story back to its origin point. This reads like it’s more of a local legend than something like, well, Spring-Heeled Jack (which is something that garnered more international attention).

Because of that, I’m hesitant to really draw any conclusions on this story. Perhaps, in the future, I’ll revisit this story and decide on how I feel about it. Though if I had to make a decision right here and now, I’m skeptical if it truly happened. Sure, the idea of ET visiting Earth in a jetpack isn’t too far-fetched, though I imagine he’d do more than fly around for a little bit at a snowbank and then fly back to his ship. Well, unless he went to the No Man’s Sky school of planetary exploration (land, look around for a bit, get back into ship, fly off to another planet).

Ah well. Let’s continue onward to the next story—which takes place nearly a century after this one!

The Story of the Jetpack Men of Los Angeles

Los Angeles; the “City of Angels”. It’s the second largest city in the United States and also one of the most iconic. It’s really expensive to live in, is home to Hollywood, and is known to have some pretty dangerous areas. Still, a great many people call it home, so who am I to judge?

Anywhoozle: sometimes known as the “guy in a jetpack” or “Iron Man”, there have been a total of five sightings of Jetpack Bro in Los Angeles between 2020 and 2021. What makes these sightings different from the one in Kazakhstan is that these didn’t take place close to the ground. No, they took place around 5,000 feet (1.5 kilometers) up in the air. You see, the jetpack guy was seen by pilots. This is extremely important to note because once you’re at that altitude, it can become rather hard to breathe; this is why mountain climbing is dangerous (though I will acknowledge that difficulty is usually more noticeable at heights well over 5,000 feet).

With that in mind, let’s get to the first sighting. It took place on August 30, 2020. According to ABC News, in an article written on September 1 of that year, American Airlines Flight 1997 was en route from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to Los Angeles when the pilot noticed a man in what looked like a jetpack. Immediately, they radioed it into air traffic control (which I will refer to as “ATC” from here on out).

Tower, American 1997, we just passed a guy in a jetpack.

Suffice to say, ATC was rather perplexed at the message of a man flying a few thousand feet in the air.

American 1997… Okay…. Were they off to your left side or right side?

The pilot responded by stating they were “about 300 yards” (274 meters) to the left of the aircraft, and was at the same altitude (3,000 feet/0.9 kilometers) as it. Luckily, the jetpack man didn’t change his course like the one in Kazakhstan, and the plane landed safely.

Not long after this—which I think was probably the same day (ABC doesn’t explicitly state it, they simply state it was “shortly after that”)—a pilot for SkyWest Airlines radioed in that they’d seen a person passing them in a jetpack.

Immediately, ATC sent a warning to exercise caution on account of the mysterious guy in a jetpack. I won’t lie, having to type those words is surreal. We live in some weird times. I can’t imagine how it felt for someone at ABC to have to type them, let alone say them.

While ABC doesn’t list off any other sightings from that time, I’m sure that some other folks saw our friendly jetpack pal; and while he may not have caused any aerial accidents, he did get the attention of the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA—which I will be calling them from here on out). They subsequently launched an investigation into the matter, and the Los Angeles Police Department, along with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI—which I think most people know who they are), got involved. However, the LAPD and FBI weren’t able to find anyone flying around in a jetpack and the case went cold.

However, that wouldn’t stop the jetpack man from reappearing. On October 14, 2020, China Airlines Flight 006 (I don’t know if this is related to China Airlines Flight 006 which had a rather terrifying close call with crashing) had an encounter with the mysterious figure at a staggering 6,000 feet (1.8 kilometers) in the air. While en route from Taipei, Taiwan to Los Angeles International Airport (better known as LAX, which I’ll be calling it from here on out), the pilot reported seeing a mysterious object nearby. Here’s a brief excerpt from the exchange between the pilot and LAX ATC tower (I found this on a website called The Drive).

China Airlines 006: We just saw a bright object at 6,000.

LAX Tower: 006 heavy can you say that one more time please?

China Airlines 006: We saw a flying object like a [this part is hard to decipher, but it sounded like] flight suit jetpack at 6,000. 

LAX Tower: Was it a UAV or was it a jetpack?

China Airlines 006: Like a jetpack. Too shiny. It’s too far.

LAX Tower: 006 heavy, roger, thank you… Emirates 215 heavy there was a jetpack reported about 13 miles ahead.

With yet another threat to the safety of all passenger airliners, LAX ATC contacted a nearby aircraft that went by the callsign “Idaho 30”. According to The Drive, “Idaho” is a callsign that’s typically used to refer to law enforcement aircraft. Whether it was local law enforcement, federal law enforcement, or some other shadowy, spooky law enforcement agency, nobody knows. What is known is that LAX and Idaho 30 apparently had some back and forth, which was recorded. Here are the excerpts from The Drive’s article.

LAX Tower: Idaho 30, and there was a jetpack reported about 7 miles west of your, there’s no way you can check that out can you?

Idaho 30: 30 affirmative.

LAX Tower: It was reported by a heavy Boeing 777 about seven miles southwest of your location.

Idaho 30: Affirmative.

LAX ATC proceeded to reroute traffic in order to make sure no jetpack men would become food for a Boeing 777’s engine. In the meantime, Idaho 30 went ahead and continued to where the entity was seen; here’s some more of the back-and-forth between the two.

Idaho 30: Idaho 30 not seeing anything.

LAX Tower: Idaho 30, roger that, thanks for your help and you can just continue your descent into your destination.

Not long after this, LAX ATC was contacted by Alaska Airlines Flight 1864, who stated they saw what they described as a man in a jetpack nearby. In response, LAX ATC said they’d have “law enforcement” go check it out.

LAX Tower: Alaska 1864, about 15 minutes ago there was a jetpack reported about 5 miles ahead, around 6,000, but I had some law enforcement come out and check it out and they didn’t see anything, so, use caution though.

Alaska 1864: Thanks, 1864, we’ll be looking.

After that fiasco, sightings of the jetpack man went silent for two months. Then, on December 21, 2020, he returned—and he was caught on camera!

According to CBS News, one of the pilots and flight instructors at the Sling Pilot Academy caught a mysterious entity flying in the sky; it was somewhere around 3,000 feet off the ground and near Laos Verdes and Catalina Island. Once the individual was done taking the footage, the academy posted it on their Instagram. You can either click here to view it. In the meantime, here’s the description for the video:

Video taken by Sling Pilot Academy Flight Instructor while flying at approx. 3,000’ near Palos Verdes south of Los Angeles. Catalina Island is in the background. The video appears to show a jet pack, but it could also be a drone or some other object. If it is a ‘guy in a jet pack’ then it remains to be seen whether it is a legal test flight (jet packs are real - there is a manufacturer near Los Angeles) or related to the jet pack sightings near LAX recently that caused disruptions to air traffic.

And as an added bonus, here’s a still image from the video.

Kinda looks like CJ to me.

All you had to do was fly near the damn train, CJ!

There, a two-for-one with Grand Theft Auto references. Only the freshest memes are allowed here on Limitless Possibilities.

Last, but certainly not least, we have a sighting that took place on July 28, 2021. A Boeing 747 was flying into LAX when the pilot saw, shock of all shocks, what looked like a man with a jetpack. The only difference this time is that the sighting was 15 miles (24.1 kilometers) off the coast of California. I don’t believe any of the other ones were over a body of water, but I could be wrong and managed to miss that piece of information. Below is a video containing the audio from the exchange that took place during the encounter; it’s an unlisted video from “The War Zone”. I found the video on this article from The Drive. This encounter was also the first time that the jetpack man was referred to as “Iron Man”.

Anyways, with that, the story comes to an end. As far as I’m aware, there have been no additional reports of the jetpack man from any pilots. So it seems the skies are clear of any airborne humans. Though still, the question remains: what exactly was seen in the skies over Los Angeles. Was it Gavin Newsom while on vacation? Or was it something much more nefarious? Well, there are some theories, so let’s check ‘em out!


1. It was a balloon

This is easily the most popular theory out there, and with rather good reason. Aside from how long it takes balloons to pop when they’re released into the air, there was actually an event that took place in November of 2020—roughly a month-and-a-half before the footage of the supposed jetpack man was posted onto Instagram.

You see, the crew of an LAPD helicopter shot footage of a balloon that looked like Jack Skellington, the main character to Henry Selick’s
The Nightmare Before Christmas (which you can see above). No, Tim Burton didn’t direct it; stop saying he did kynt1450! I will never not be annoyed when people say it was Tim Burton who made that movie! Reeeeee!

Anyways, this footage wouldn’t be released until November of 2021, and it was posited by the FBI and FAA that it could have explained some of the sightings of the supposed man in the jetpack. The idea is that someone released a balloon in the shape of a human into the air and as it ascended, pilots mistook it for a man in a jetpack.

How exactly they mistook it for that isn’t explained, but it could possibly be chalked up to something along the lines of pareidolias (you know, when you see something like a face in something where it isn’t there; think the Face on Mars). Another possibility is the balloon was shaped in a way that made it look like it had something on its back.

Of course, this is merely a “working theory” by both agencies. They haven’t cemented anything yet and the investigation is still ongoing, so it’s possible the theory will deflate and they’ll be back at square one in due time.

2. It was some random guy with his $250,000–$500,000 jetpack

Our second theory is it was some really wealthy person who was mucking around in his personal jetpack.

This theory is one that’s plausible at first glance, but has a fair number of holes that can be poked in it. For starters, there’s the price tag. While it’s no secret that people with a lot of money will go out and buy a ton of things that have no purpose other than to showcase how rich the owner is, the realistic use of a jetpack for the average person is nonexistent. In spite of that, I’m sure there is one person out there who bought one because they’re rich.

I digress though. The next problem is that if you’re going to own a jetpack, you need a pilot’s license… sort of. If you go by Jetpack Aviation’s FAQ:

Every country has its own aircraft certification and flight crew licensing rules. In the USA it is possible to fly the ultralight version of our aircraft with no pilot license. At the time of writing you will need at least a Light Sports Aircraft (LSA) pilot certificate to operate our Experimental Category aircraft. In all cases you will need to complete a JPA training program.

Depending on what kind of jetpack this was, it’s possible the person would’ve needed a pilot’s license, and it isn’t exactly easy to fly a plane. At least, I don’t think it is. Perhaps to some, it is.

However, even if we ignore all of that, there’s one serious flaw to this theory. According to a CBS News correspondent by the name of Kris Van Cleave (that sounds like a Warcraft character’s name; kinda cool), there aren’t any commercially available jetpacks that are capable of reaching 3,000 feet (let alone 5,000 or 6,000 feet) and then getting you back to the ground safely. Not unless you have a parachute or the jetpack has a large amount of fuel.

Adding to this, the CEO of Jetpack Aviation—David Mayman—stated that wasn’t so sure the supposed aviator was a man in a jetpack as it would’ve likely run out of fuel very quickly. Not only that, but actual jetpacks are very noisy, and it would be very obvious if someone had either taken off or landed with one. That, coupled with the average flight time of one being between 5 and 10 minutes, and you can probably surmise that it’s unlikely that it was some Joe Schmo in a jetpack.

That said, Jetpack Aviation’s jetpacks can reach 15,000 feet. So unless the pilots only saw our jetpack friend for a brief period before he decided to yeet himself off the jetpack and fall gracefully to the Earth with a parachute multiple times throughout the course of 11 months, maybe this theory isn’t too far-fetched. Rich folks are weird.

3. It was an alien

For our third theory, we have the idea that it was an alien. This is more or less the exact same as the one from the story of the jetpack brotato from Kazakhstan. It was some alien scout observing us for some unknown purpose. Why it opted to do so from so high up is anyone’s guess; maybe this species of ET has really good eyesight, maybe it had some sort of special helmet on, or maybe it simply really dumb and figured that staying out of sight would be easy up in the air.

Guess it didn’t take into account airplanes.

Whatever the case may be, there’s legitimately nothing to add here. It’s just that it was an alien, doing alien things, and it got caught a fair few times. Everyone point and laugh at the silly alien.

4. It was the military

Never underestimate the United States military’s lust for something bigger, better, and more powerful that can be used to vaporize its enemies. This theory posits that the jetpack man was… well, one of a few things.

The first idea is that it was a hi-tech jetpack that was being tested in public. We’ve already gone over how jetpacks are available for anyone to buy (so long as you have the money), though some jetpacks aren’t commercially available. One of these comes courtesy of the Glenn L. Martin Company. This company is creating a jetpack that can fly for 30–45 minutes (over three times as long as Jetpack Aviation’s jetpacks) and even has a ballistic parachute in case you find yourself in a bit of a pickle.

These jetpacks, as it stands, are intended to be used by first responders, search and rescue missions, and later the oil and gas industries. They’re also considering selling them to the military. So the idea that a jetpack like this—be it directly from the Martin Company or some military contractor—was in the process of testing their jetpack out in public.

If that’s the case, then it’s certainly weird. Military tests have taken place near populated areas before; I can attest to this. I’ve read reports of local towns reporting sonic booms; the locals have thought the world was ending and Armageddon had begun. That wasn’t the case though, the military was testing sound-barrier breaking jets.

However, there’s a big difference between testing a jet and testing out a jet pack over Los Angeles. For starters, there’s the danger of the person testing the jetpack getting sucked into an airliner’s engine and causing the entire plane to crash, thereby killing hundreds of people (possibly thousands if the plane crashes right over the city and it crashes into a building). That would be a really big oopsy daisy and would certainly cause lawsuits in the hundreds of billions range.

Second, top secret military testing is usually done in a very contained environment so rapid response to an accident is allowed. Given that Los Angeles is really, really densely populated, any sort of rapid response would be met with an unusually high volume of vulgarity that would cause an abnormal spike in dollar bills in the local parish’s swear jar. In other words: nobody would be able to get to the injured tester because they’d be stuck in traffic, or at traffic lights.

Third: I don’t think it’s legal for the army to test within the limits of a major city. I might be wrong about this as I can’t get any answers when searching on the Internet, but I don’t believe it’s allowed because if something goes wrong, a lot of people can die. As such, I believe this is the reason that 84.9% of Nevada is government owned land. There’s almost nothing to Nevada besides desert and as such, there’s no risk of thousands being killed if an F-35 decides to break down mid-flight and take a few city blocks with it.

That stupid thing has cost the US $1,500,000,000 by the way. Never let anyone ever tell you the government can’t burn money on useless things.

In spite of those three points, there is still a firm belief that the army is behind the test. It does make a bit of sense given the jetpack man was spotted over the water, which would’ve technically been safer than if a test had taken place over land. Though in spite of that, no word has ever come out from the army (likely because they wouldn’t want to be scolded for testing in the paths of airliners) and given the lack of sightings since July, it’s possible they relocated. That is, if it was them. We’ve still got some theories to go over though, so let’s continue!

5. It was CJ

Three Grand Theft Auto jokes in one write-up. Why? Because three is one of my lucky numbers. That and five is a nice round number. Don’t judge me.

My Take

You know, to be perfectly honest, I don’t know what I think of this story. I gravitate towards it having been a balloon since it doesn’t appear the jetpack man ever moved when an airplane was anywhere near him (I imagine someone would’ve moved, even if it was 300 yards from them). At the same time though, I find it strange that multiple balloons in the shape of a human would’ve been released and coincidentally been in the pathways of various airliners.

However, I have a hard time buying into the other theories. If it was an alien, why would they have been observing us from so high in the air? Again, unless they had a helmet or some sort of equipment that let them see down on the ground, I find it really weird they’d be up there. Though I guess it’s possible they were testing the atmosphere to see if it’s breathable/toxic/whatever if they wanted to invade us. Still, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I imagine it would be a lot more practical to go into a secluded area (California’s enormous and has a plethora of rural/forested locations that could serve as hiding spots) and they could perform tests there. Why waste your time in the atmosphere? What’re you doing, mister extraterrestrial? Gonna go ahead be visible from the ground or anyone with a pair of binoculars? You silly goose.

Moving on though: if it was a rich person, they were in serious danger of falling to the ground and becoming food for the local cockroaches. Unless they had a parachute, in which case: I question what happened to the jetpack. I would imagine it fell to the ground with a resounding clang and someone would’ve found it. Also, if they were 6,000 feet in the air, they would’ve probably passed out because it’s extremely dangerous to be that high up without any sort of protective gear. That’s why a lot of people have died on Mount Everest (besides, well, exposure and other things).

Now if it was the military: in spite of all my reasoning above, it could technically make sense. The United States army isn’t exempt from doing really stupid stuff. As I said, they spent 1.5 trillion dollars on a jet that’s as functional as Cyberpunk 2077, so far be it from them to do something stupid like test a jetpack over Los Angeles. However, in spite of that: it’d be really callous and would cause an insurmountable level of anger if it got leaked that they were doing something like that. So unless the lack of sightings since July of this year is because they decided to move their testing site, I sincerely doubt they’d do something like this. No, I think they’d just go ahead and use one of them Deep Underground Military Bases. Y’know, where they keep the lizard people.

Ahem, anyways, before I get thrown into the back of an unmarked van, I guess in the end: I fall somewhere between thinking it was a balloon and just flat out not knowing. This is a really peculiar case and not one that I can really formulate a firm stance on since I feel like it’s so bizarre. As such, I might end up doing a follow-up some time in the future if any major updates/breakthroughs happen so I can at least give a solid answer and, likewise, a solid stance. Sorry for the letdown if you were hoping for me to have an actual opinion.

And before anyone says I hate the military because I criticized them: I don’t hate them; I thank God each day that there are people who are willing to lay their lives down to protect me and others from those who would wish to see me dead. I just think that the army has a really bad tendency to spend money where it shouldn’t be spent. The F-22 was perfectly fine, we didn’t need to upgrade it for the sake of upgrading it.


To round things out: I want to once again point out that, in Paranormal-World’s entry on the jetpack bro of Kazakhstan, the writer ends off by saying that there are other cases of humanoids with jetpacks. If anyone’s aware of other cases besides these two, I would love to know about them as I’d personally love to do more write-ups like this. It was a really nice change of pace to do something of a compilation—and I mean a fully fledged one and not something like the Prehistoric Sea Creature Brigade from last year (which I would consider more of a rapid fire compilation). Though until then, I bid you all adieu. Stay happy, stay healthy, and don’t fear the jetpack reaper.

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