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Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Conspiracy: Astronaut Night Terrors

Open wide.

I was on 4chan’s /x/ board a month ago when I came across a conspiracy iceberg thread. Naturally, I went through it and saw some material for some good future write-ups, though I always saw an opportunity to partake in the thread too since a user had said they couldn’t find anything about the conspiracy of Astronaut Night Terrors. I’m not one to go around and promote this blog on /x/ or the ever-so coveted cesspool known as Reddit, but I do enjoy sharing what I know with others. As such, I chimed in and said that I’d written about it on here (well, I didn’t give the name of the blog, but that’s besides the point). Though after I’d said I’d written about it, I realized something.

I’ve not written about it.

The closest I’ve come to covering this theory was when I summarized it back in February for my megalist of conspiracies. Even then, I more or less took what one user on 4chan had said and did a pisspoor job of reworking it so it didn’t look like I’d outright copied him. As such, I’m going to amend my folly and now cover this theory. So to the two or three people who ended up visiting this blog from /x/, I hope this’ll sate your curiosity.

The Story

The claim behind these supposed night terrors is that astronauts that are in low Earth orbit have “unanimously” reported that they’ve suffered from extremely lucid night terrors; the dreams consisting of them perpetually falling onto what they describe as a mouth similar to that of a lamprey (which you can see with this write-up’s cover image). These astronauts—or at least the 4chan user who conveyed this information—claim that this mouth symbolizes the Earth. You see, the Earth is possessive of its children (see: humanity) and desires to be the only planet in the Solar System that can recycle our “energy”. Allegedly, every planet craves life in order to feel the sensation of free thermodynamic exchanges on their surfaces.

Most of that I just shamelessly copied from the original post (which you can view here). Though if I’m to be honest, that post is really all I can find about it. There’s next to nothing else about it; I can’t find an episode of Dead Rabbit Radio that covers it (which I often use as a source when it comes to the Conspiracy Iceberg), nor can I find anything when I check on Google, Bing, or even Tor. These supposed night terrors are about as well covered up as can be.

So if there’s nothing to them, then why bother covering it?

Aside from having felt like a nimrod for sharing my blog when I had never covered it, then taking a month to actually cover it to amend for that, I think it’s a perfect example of how the Conspiracy Iceberg’s content can often be elusive—or outright faked. Though this isn’t the time or place for that. Nay, that’s best suited for the theories section. So, given that the story of Astronaut Night Terrors has come to an end, let’s move onto that section.


1. They’re real

Our first theory is that these night terrors are, in fact, real. Given that these dreams are said to be lucid and repeated, one can hazard a guess and say that they aren’t “normal”. As such, if we’re to assume they’re real, then we must ask ourselves what’s inciting them.

Night terrors are, unfortunately, not something abnormal. We’ll all likely suffer from them at some point in our lives and because of this, one can posit that the astronauts who experienced these dreams were suffering from them naturally. Of course, if they’re recurring, that would be quite astounding and rather odd. While I (and many others) have had dreams that have sort of “picked up” where they left off when I fall back to sleep, it’s quite rare that they resume or replay over and over again.

2. They’re a work of fiction

I’ve stated this before, but I’ll state it again for the sake of stressing it: the conspiracy iceberg is, by and large, filled with the creations of users who partake in threads on 4chan (and presumably other sites). While not all of them are made up, a great many of them are and as such: there’s no reason to assume that this theory is any different.

Now, is there any proof for this theory? Like the previous one: no. All one can go off of is what we discussed above: people sometimes have night terrors, let alone nightmares, and being up in space is likely to instill a sense of fear into anyone. While not everyone is afraid of heights, it stands to reason that you may get a bit nervous being in a place as vast and terrifying as space. Though that’s merely my (admittedly uneducated) guess.

My Take

Given the lack of information I was able to find on this story, I can’t really say I believe it. While I try to be as open minded as I can, I must say that I’m unable to blindly accept what little information I was able to find when it comes to this story. All there really is—in my experiences at least—is the post I found on 4chan when I made my megalist of conspiracies. As such, I’m labeling this story as little more than the creation of someone who wanted to add something to the Conspiracy Iceberg.


The idea that fuels this conspiracy is something that I believe would make for a really interesting high concept work of fantasy. However, in the realm of reality, it’s something that I think is heavily divisive. On one hand, the idea of energies inside all of us is something that’ll either immediately get someone to label you as a lunatic or make someone gravitate to you in a heartbeat. While I’m definitely someone who’s willing to write about these supposed energies, I cannot say I take them seriously. They’re definitely interesting, but I can’t fathom how our planet is a living entity of some sort that refuses to give us up to another planet that yearns for what we emit. Though that’s just me and because of that, I would love to know if you agree with me or disagree. Whatever the case may be, leave a comment below and tell me. Perhaps I’m blind to something or overlooked something. If it’s one, the other, or both, do let me know. I do love to know when I’m wrong when it comes to these facts.

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