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Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Mystery: The Murder of Alain Bouzeida


This story is dedicated to my father, whose birthday is today. Happy birthday, old man. <3

I dunno about you, but I think that every village/town/city has “that guy”. The person who’s seen as a troublemaker, or at the very least isn’t very well-liked by the community. Maybe they’re a drug dealer, maybe they’re a raging alcoholic who tries to pick fights with everyone, or maybe they’re just generally shady and there are shifty individuals who go in and out of their home. Heck, maybe “that guy” is just a bit on the weird side.


Whatever the case may be, there’s usually at least one person who’s like that. Today’s story is one which centers on someone like that; it’s a showcasing of how every community can always have one person who people just don’t like. However, the person here isn’t one who was misunderstood. No, they were… actually kind of a dick.


Before we get to who our central focus is, I want to just say that I’ve only ever seen this story covered by the YouTube channel “Criminally Listed”, back in February of this year to be exact. While I try to steer clear of covering something/someone that a much bigger, much more popular content creator has gone over, this was a story which I couldn’t help but showcase. It’s one of the weirdest and most random murders I’ve ever seen in my life. So let’s go over the murder of Alain Bouzeida.

The Story


The prime source of information for this story comes from the aforementioned YouTube channel, Criminally Listed. Specifically, their video “3 Horrifying Unsolved Machete Murders”. It’s the first case in the video. So, let’s get the fact-boulder a-rollin’.


On February 27, 1987, at the Bastille Station in Paris, France, a 37-year-old man by the name of Alain Bouzeida was drunk and yelling at random people. The specifics of what he was saying are unknown, but he was presumably doing what any French person would do and telling them that Napoleon did nothing wrong.


Well, that’s my guess anyways, so for the sake of keeping things interesting, we’re going to say that’s what happened. Anyways, Alain set his sights on one man in particular; a young man (who Criminally Listed states was “about 25”, making him my age) wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. He also had short hair, yet further confirming my suspicions that this man may have been me.


I feel that by saying that, the French equivalent of SWAT is going to burst into my room once this post goes up.


Well, better make do with what little time I have before I end up in French prison. Alain continued to harass the man, swearing at him and making obscene gestures. After an unknown amount of time, the man took his briefcase and placed it onto a bench. He opened it up and pulled out a machete. After this, he walked across the tracks and climbed onto the other side, where he approached Alain and struck him on the neck.


Once the deed was done, the man proceeded to walk back across the track, put the machete back into his briefcase, and performed an “ironic hand gesture” to the horrified onlookers. I don’t know anything about French hand gestures, so if a French reader can tell me of them, that would be greatly appreciated. Though after that, the man—and presumably everyone else—waited until the train arrived. After it did, the man got onboard.


That’s where the story ends. I have no idea if blood splattered onto the man’s suit, though I think it should have if Alain was struck in the neck. After all, the jugular is on the side and it’s extremely fragile; it also carries a large amount of blood.


With that oddity, I have to admit that I was actually kind of suspicious of this story. To me, the idea that a man could get away with a murder like this seemed too implausible. However, the more I thought about it, the less crazy it sounded. This is mostly because the case of Ken McElroy went down in a very similar manner, albeit he was shot and not killed with a machete.


Still, there was the matter of verifying the story. I wanted to find something—anything—on this. So, I got to work looking it up. This is also where things really hit a brick wall, mainly because I couldn’t find anything beyond copious links to Criminally Listed. As I said at the start, I think they’re the only ones to have covered this story.


However, when using good old Google, there are two links from other sources. The first is newspapers.com, who have an archive of the Cincinnati Enquirer from March 4, 1987. I can’t access the paper however as it wants me to create an account and I’m not going to. Sorry, I draw my lines at creating accounts for newspaper websites.


The second is another newspaper-based site. Specifically, madison.newspaperarchive.com, which houses archives for various papers located in the Madison, Wisconsin area. The one that’s hyperlinked is for the Madison Wisconsin State Journal. I’m going to hazard a guess and say that this may be where Criminally Listed got their information from, but I can’t say for certain.


Whatever the case may be in that regard, that at the very least proves that the story isn’t fake and cements that my birthdate is cursed by a machete-wielding maniac with a sleek business suit. Though it’s also where the story ends. I can’t find anything which states a sketch was made of the suspect, let alone if any suspects were cleared. As far as I can tell, this case begins and ends at the metro. So, let’s move on to the theories.


Theories


1. It was a targeted attack


You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth. There’s only one theory to this case as far as I can tell, and that’s that the killer targeted Alain Bouzeida specifically. For what reason, I’m not entirely sure, but I would hazard to guess that it was because Bouzeida said something to the man in the past and it angered him a great deal.


Perhaps it was a personal attack about the man and/or his family, or maybe Bouzeida had actually attacked/assaulted one of the man’s family members. Or perhaps it was like in the case of Ken McElroy, and the man figured that if nobody would to deal with someone who was seen as more of a pest than a human, then he would do it himself. However, I can’t think of any other reason for an attack like this.


Had it been a random act of violence, the man got incredibly lucky given the fact that nobody appeared to care that Bouzeida was murdered. I can’t think of any other time in history where a random act of violence would’ve been done on someone who the general populace would’ve preferred to have seen dead, rather than alive.


My Take


I mean, everything I just said really falls into how I truly feel about the case. I think it was a targeted attack, done by a man who was either angered by Bouzeida, or wanted to get rid of him because he was a nuisance. I don’t believe it was anything other than that. I don’t really know what I think personally as I’ve never really settled on one theory myself. All I can say for certain is I don’t think anyone was really “mad” or “saddened” that Bouzeida was murdered.


Conclusion


Not going to lie, I always like stories like this one. Smaller cases like this always intrigue me more than stories that have been covered time and time again. At the same time, they frustrate me. I always want to know what the heck happened and who committed the crime. Though if I had to be honest, I doubt we’ll ever know.


Well, unless someone finds a bloodied business suit from the late 1980s somewhere in Paris.


On one final note, I highly recommend checking out Criminally Listed. They’re easily one of the best true crime YouTube channels out there. Now then, until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, and I shall see you all another time!

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