What Could Have Been: Dead Island 2 (Rewrite)

 

When I look back on the work I did from last year—specifically early last year—I often wince. Stylistically, it feels way too self-serious and lacks the spark that I think my current work has. Heck, even stuff from early this year feels like it doesn’t have the seem pizazz that I think my most recent work has. As such, I’ve really wanted to take time to slowly rewrite some of the pieces that I’m passionate about or that hold a special place in my heart.

Now, while I won’t devote, say, a week or something to rewriting piece after piece, I want to take a bit of time to rewrite another one as the game in question holds a special place in my heart as the original is a low-key favorite of mine. That and something happened back in June of this year that I think is worth mentioning. As such, today, I want to go back and rewrite the piece I did on the still unreleased video game Dead Island 2. So, with the sun shining, the warm California breeze in our hair, and with the growling of zombies filling the air, let’s dive headfirst into the apocalypse!

Mystery: Wendigo

Good morning, dear reader. At least, it’s morning as of the time of this posting. Let’s take a trip into the woods together. It’s a terrifying place full of mystery; a desolate land where one can become attuned to nature. However, it’s also a land of danger. Wild animals reside here and while most are docile, this is their home and should you get too close to, say, a mama bear and her cub, you can find yourself ending up like the Grizzly Man.

Today’s story is going to be a rather short, brisk one. After the monstrously lengthy tale of Jack the Ripper, I want to take a moment to sit back, relax, and channel our inner demon[s] into a story. I wish for you to do just this; look inside of yourself. Unleash all of the anger and wrath inside of you. Now go clean up the mess you made; your home is a wreck.

All done? Good, now that you have manifested a Wendigo, start running. That thing’s going to eat you, your family, your puppy, and your neighbors. Seriously, run. It’s right behind you and it smells of blood and copper.

Mystery: WR 104

Oh hey, welcome to my blog once more dear reader. Today, we’re going off to the final frontier: space. Home to more lifelessness than a congressional hearing, space is a fascinating place and it’s actually what I had my sights set on before I found my passion for writing (I had aspirations to be an astronomer). By and large, it’s not the most interesting thing to look at; the distance between Earth and the Moon is so vast that, when furthest from us, you could fit every single planet between us and the Moon.

Indeed, there’s a lot of nothing in space, but that doesn’t make it uninteresting. The prospect of life on other planets is a fascinating one and to colonize a planet such as Mars is something that would be fascinating; one thing I hope to see in my life is for humanity to step foot on another world.

Mystery: Jack the Ripper

 

Having grown up with a father who’s a law enforcement officer, my childhood was heavily influenced by shows centered on crime and stories of those who committed acts of evil being caught. This ranged from Scooby-Doo to Forensic Files and America’s Most Wanted, all of which I greatly enjoyed.

As life went on, my fascination in these stories only grew. While I never planned on pursuing a career in law enforcement (not that I could at this point given my physical disabilities), I always loved to read about how these horrible people would slip up and get caught and what their motivations were. It has never ceased to blow my mind as to how little it takes for someone to decide that they’ll take another human’s life. That’s not even touching on unsolved crimes, which are even more fascinating in my eyes. The many questions that surround them really put into perspective the tagline to the 2007 film Zodiac. There’s more than one way to lose your life to a killer.

This brings me to today’s story. Our subject today has brought many detectives and sleuths—amateur and professional—to their knees. So, if you would be so kind as to join me, let’s take a gander at one of the luckiest humans to have ever lived. This is the story of Jack the Ripper.

Mystery: The Bloop

The ocean: it makes up most of our planet and is home to a great many fascinating and majestic creatures. Dolphins, sharks, whales, squids, and Jason Mamoa are but a few of the magnificent denizens that lurk in the depths of its comfy, blue surface. It’s below this surface that a great many mysteries lurk: the Mariana Trench Sea Serpent, reports of living plesiosaurs, underwater civilizations, living megalodons, and many other stories come from sailors, fishermen, and average Joes alike. It’s a place of wonder, awe, and fascination. So it should come as no surprise that upwards of 95% of the ocean remains unexplored. 

Despite so much of the ocean not being explored, most of us often look to the stars to colonize Mars and proclaim Elon Musk as our God-Emperor, Indeed, we likely know more about the cosmos than we do about the vast majority of our own planet. Every year, new species of animals are discovered in and out of the ocean, so if you were to ask me: I would say we should start diving down into the depths more often.

As you may have guessed by now: today’s story will do just that, though it holds an “official” explanation. So why cover it? Well, I received this story as a request last year and attempted to write it. Although I was successful, the end result was something I was very disappointed with; it was like a half-baked Wikipedia article. So I deleted it and decided to focus my efforts elsewhere (I believe I went on to write about the 3x Killer after scrapping it).

From there, I let the idea collect dust until now, a little under one year later. I’m feeling a lot more motivated and want to take a shot at what’s known as the Bloop once more. So from hell’s heart I shall stab at thee! Let us dive into the ocean and see what the truth is behind this enigmatic sound.

Mystery: The Old Tape

Howdy, dear reader. Tell me: do you listen to the radio? Of course you don’t, we only listen to our own playlists because streaming killed the radiostar. Lucky for us, some people inexplicably still listen to the radio instead of blasting the same song on loop for 3 hours during their daily commute; stuck in traffic again, wagie? Don’t worry, Spotify Premium only costs you half of what gasoline will when you’re home by 6:30 in the evening.

Well, that’s not on topic, now is it? I dare say it is, bros. You see, today, we’re headed to my home state: New York—also known as the Big Apple and the Empire State. When I think New York, I think of using up gas because of traffic. Funny joke, but let’s talk about New York for a moment. It’s home to Wall Street, Manhattan, and the most Presidents in United States history as of the time of this writing (Martin van Buren, Millard Fillmore, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and the current President: Donald J. Trump). Really interesting when you think about it; also, be sure to vote come November if you’re an American citizen so you can pretend that your vote matters if you don’t live in a swing state.

Ah, but where was I? Oh right, New York. This state is a cesspool, but that’s besides the point. When it comes to mysteries however, it’s got some interesting stuff under its belt. The 3X Killer, the 2008 Time Square Bombing, and the cost of living being feasible to anyone without the surname of Rockefeller are but three of the dozens of stories I could tell from the Corona Capital of the Planet (or CCP as I call it). We aren’t going to be covering any of those stories—though the bombing is one my immediate to-do list. Nay, we’re here to talk, well, radio! I said that two paragraphs ago, no?

Radio, although it may seem archaic to anyone who isn’t at least 20, was the way I listened to music before I had those new fangled smartphones. It was also how some folks would screw around; calling into radio stations to say stupid things before hanging up and leaving the host wondering why they didn’t take up a job on CNN. Today’s story is sort of like that, except it takes place in relationship to a college—or those places that leave you in debt until you’re letting your parents down one last time since you didn’t get a six-figure job.

Let’s finally get this introduction on track though. My insane, giddy rambling aside, today’s story brings us to New York; a radio station named WKCR. Those familiar with what I would call “creepy media” will likely recognize that name. It’s a station licensed by Columbia University. Back in 1995, a weird interruption took place. Nowadays, it’s known as the Old Tape or the WKCR Radio Interruption. I’ve been meaning to cover it for a few months now, but have had quite a bit of trouble making the story work. Though today, I will make it work.

With that said: I would just like to note that if this tape is old, then I’m very scared because I wonder how soon I’ll be thrown into the old folks home; also, someone please call the Military, I think my parents are zombies and World War Z is about to become a documentary.

Ah, this is going to be an energetic write-up. How I’ve missed this type of happiness in my life!

What Could Have Been: World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor (Rewrite)

Today, we’ll be doing something unique. For a long while, I’ve wanted to rewrite one of my write-ups, though never have I had the adequate time to do so. Recently however, I began to write a megalist of unmade and canceled movies and video games. However, I’ve had to delay it as I recently got a puppy and he has been a handful. There was one entry that I did write that I found to be exceptional though and I didn’t want it to collect dust as I did much smaller projects in my free time. What those smaller projects are: I honestly don’t know. I want to post a mystery or two this month, but it remains to be seen on whether or not I can muster the energy (let alone find the time) to craft something of merit.

Now, before we begin, I want to make note of something. I didn’t change anything in the way of what’s been written and as such, there’s likely a few typos and references to the aforementioned megalist itself. So I do apologize on that front.

So with all of that out of the way, and without further ado: enjoy this rewrite of last year’s What Could Have Been on Warlords of Draenor.